Garrett hated using the television as a babysitter, but he had to talk to Jennifer. Alone. With her company gone, Bridget was ensconced in her lift chair and he left the boys watching cartoons.
"Jennifer?" He knocked on her door, but got no answer. Reaching above the door-facing, he retrieved the key Bridget had told him he'd find.
He opened the door, startled to see a swollen-faced Jennifer sitting on the bed, staring at photos.
"Jennifer?"
She didn't look up. He sat beside her on the bed and stared at the pictures.
Clearly the child was Jennifer's. Same dark eyes. Same dark hair.
"That's Carrie?"
"My mother told you?"
"A few minutes ago."
"I let her die."
Garrett wrapped his arms around her. "That's not what your mother said."
"She wasn't there. She doesn't know."
"You weren't there, Jennifer."
"I should have been. Jeff was right. I should have been with our daughter. If I'd been there, she wouldn't have died."
"Her death was an accident. Not because of your negligence, but because of your ex-husband's. He was there, Jennifer, supposedly watching her while you were at work. If anyone is to blame, it's him."
"I wasn't a fit parent. I'd suffered postpartum depression after she was born and…" Fresh tears ran down her cheeks. "I didn't treasure her every day like I should have."
He hated her pain, wished he could take it away, but hated the jerk who'd planted these doubts in her mind even more.
"Look at this photo." He picked up a picture of a smiling Jennifer with her arms wrapped around the laughing little girl. "Your love is obvious."
"Don't you see? Love wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to save Carrie. It isn't enough to justify putting your boys in my care. I'm not mother material."
"There's no one else I'd trust more with my children," he said softly, knowing his words were true. "There's no one else I'd share them with, Jennifer. Just you."
"You can say that after what I did?"
He stared at her, wondering what her nut job of an ex-husband had said to her. Bridget had told him Jeff blamed Jennifer and, in her grief, Jennifer had accepted that blame and never forgiven herself.
"After what you did? Jennifer, you took charge, packed Ethan's nose to stop the bleeding and kept ice on his lips and gums. What more could anyone have done?"
She looked at him in confusion. "I shouldn't have let him get hurt. Jeff told me I shouldn't ever be left alone with kids. He was right. Look what happens."
"You can't predict the future. Nor can you stop kids from being kids. No matter how closely we watch our children, accidents happen."
"Ethan is hurt because of me." She winced, almost as if in fear of being hit. "Aren't you mad?"
If he ever had the displeasure of meeting her ex, he'd slug the bastard.
"Mad?" He stroked her cheek. "You deserve a medal for getting his bleeding to stop so quickly."
She burst into fresh tears. Garrett held her, letting her sob against his chest, not knowing how to ease the pain inside her, knowing her ex had a lot to answer for.
Garrett caressed her hair, kissed her and told her how much he loved her, how much he trusted her with his children, with his heart.
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