Her Boss's Private Affair
Rosa Cardona never would have jumped into bed with Caleb Alexander if she’d known he was her new boss! But now she’s unable to resist the intense passion she feels for the powerful, enigmatic man. Still, she insists their affair remain a secret in order to protect her professional reputation as the head of Human Resources!
Caleb Alexander has never felt this way for another woman, and he’s ready to take his relationship with Rosa to the next level, even if that means going public. And Caleb is a man who is used to getting his own way….
Monday, December 28, 2009
Forever, Actually...Chapter 8
After a moment of stunned disbelief, dozens of details began to swirl inside Meg’s head—the magically appearing car seat and high chair, the "used" toys, Russ’s lashing out at her after saving Abbie from falling in the pond. His reaction to kids in general.
“Oh, dear God,” she whispered, suddenly not hungry. “Why on earth didn’t he say something?”
“Because he was raised to believe that men didn’t talk about their pain,” Nova said drily. “All the months our mom was sick, Dad did the stoic thing. If he shed any tears after her death, we sure as heck never saw them. And yet I know a piece of him died with her.” She forked a chunk of hard-boiled egg into her mouth. “In fact, he was gone, too, within a year.”
“Man. You guys… You’ve really had it rough.”
Nova lifted her eyes to Meg’s. “On the surface, it would certainly seem so. Except both Russ and I… We both had happy marriages. Very happy marriages. So did our parents. When stuff happens…” She shrugged. “You can choose to let it take you under, or make you stronger. To move on, or not. Obviously I have no idea if you can help my brother or not. If he’ll give you—give himself—another shot. But if there’s even a chance that you could get though to him—”
At Meg’s apparently dumbfounded expression, Nova shook her head, her lips curved in a sad smile. “I’m sorry, I’m being totally selfish. I’ve got no right to ask you…”
“Yes.”
Nova met her gaze. “You could get hurt again.”
Meg signaled for a container for the rest of her food. “Not if I know what I’m getting into.”
Nova’s smile told her she was doing the right thing.
Meg’s stomach, however, wasn’t so sure.
***
Russ had lost track of how many times he’d thought about calling Meg over the past week. How many times he’d thought about her and Abbie. Period.
He thought this was what they called a losing battle.
Because what was he supposed to say? He’d never had to apologize to Sarah; had never made a fool of himself with her. Not this big a fool, anyway. He’d never even thought twice about laying his heart on the line. Because he’d known, almost from the first moment he’d seen her dripping wet, running through the sprinklers on campus, that she’d been exactly what he needed—
“Hi.”
Out in the greenhouse, he turned so fast he nearly knocked over the topiary beside him. Meg covered her laugh, her eyes twinkling over her hand, and his heart somersaulted.
“Hi, yourself,” he said.
She lowered her hand. “Nova thinks I should give you another chance.”
“Oh, she does, huh?”
“She meddled. It’s what siblings who care about each other do. I should know.”
Russ smiled. “But what do you think?”
“I think you should get over here and kiss me before I change my mind.”
She didn’t have to ask him twice. A split second later they were in each other’s arms. He lifted his hands to cradle her dimpled, laughing face, her curls whispering over his knuckles as he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. She murmured something into his mouth and kissed him back, and something sweet and warm and fierce surged through him, instantly burning off two years of grief and fear and hopelessness.
Then she pulled away, frowning, even as she lifted a hand to his face. “Why didn’t you tell me, for heaven’s sake? About your wife and son?”
He lowered his eyes. Took a breath. Pressed her hand to his heart. “Because it hurt.”
One side of her mouth lifted. “Does it still?”
“Not as much as it did five minutes ago.”
“Good,” she said, hope shining in her eyes, and Russ drew her close, resting his chin on her curls. “I’m sorry I was an ass.”
“So am I,” she mumbled into his chest, then leaned back to meet his gaze. “Bit was your son’s, wasn’t it? And the car seat and high chair…”
“Yeah. I kept telling myself I’d get rid of them one day, but one day somehow never came. I honestly don’t know what possessed me to give Bit to Abbie. But it helped.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
She blew a soft laugh through her nose. “After you left the other night, I very nearly tossed him into the trash. But I couldn’t. Good thing, too, ’cause Abbie asked for him the next morning. They’re BFFs now.” When he laughed, she touched soft fingers to the side of his face. “Tell me about Sarah.”
Russ smiled. “In some ways, she was a lot like you,” he said softly. “Funny. Brave. Crazy. She made me… She made me stop taking myself so seriously, which was a very good thing. Then she and Adam died…” He hugged Meg again. “And I didn’t think I’d ever be able to not take things seriously again.”
“Is it scary that I understood that?”
Chuckling, Russ cupped her face again, touching noses. “But just so you know, I didn’t fall in love with a clone of Sarah. I fell in love with you.”
He saw her swallow. “Nobody will believe this, you know.”
“So screw ’em. This is about us. Nobody else.”
She linked her hands around the back of his neck, her lips curved. “You’re what I need in my life, too. Somebody to keep me tethered to earth. Okay, maybe not always, that would be boring, but without you as the constant in our lives, all the rest of it means nothing. As long as…you’re sure you’re ready for this? For us?”
“You have no idea how ready I am.” Russ smiled. Then he kissed her again, feeling whole and sane and happy again for the first time in forever.
THE END
“Oh, dear God,” she whispered, suddenly not hungry. “Why on earth didn’t he say something?”
“Because he was raised to believe that men didn’t talk about their pain,” Nova said drily. “All the months our mom was sick, Dad did the stoic thing. If he shed any tears after her death, we sure as heck never saw them. And yet I know a piece of him died with her.” She forked a chunk of hard-boiled egg into her mouth. “In fact, he was gone, too, within a year.”
“Man. You guys… You’ve really had it rough.”
Nova lifted her eyes to Meg’s. “On the surface, it would certainly seem so. Except both Russ and I… We both had happy marriages. Very happy marriages. So did our parents. When stuff happens…” She shrugged. “You can choose to let it take you under, or make you stronger. To move on, or not. Obviously I have no idea if you can help my brother or not. If he’ll give you—give himself—another shot. But if there’s even a chance that you could get though to him—”
At Meg’s apparently dumbfounded expression, Nova shook her head, her lips curved in a sad smile. “I’m sorry, I’m being totally selfish. I’ve got no right to ask you…”
“Yes.”
Nova met her gaze. “You could get hurt again.”
Meg signaled for a container for the rest of her food. “Not if I know what I’m getting into.”
Nova’s smile told her she was doing the right thing.
Meg’s stomach, however, wasn’t so sure.
***
Russ had lost track of how many times he’d thought about calling Meg over the past week. How many times he’d thought about her and Abbie. Period.
He thought this was what they called a losing battle.
Because what was he supposed to say? He’d never had to apologize to Sarah; had never made a fool of himself with her. Not this big a fool, anyway. He’d never even thought twice about laying his heart on the line. Because he’d known, almost from the first moment he’d seen her dripping wet, running through the sprinklers on campus, that she’d been exactly what he needed—
“Hi.”
Out in the greenhouse, he turned so fast he nearly knocked over the topiary beside him. Meg covered her laugh, her eyes twinkling over her hand, and his heart somersaulted.
“Hi, yourself,” he said.
She lowered her hand. “Nova thinks I should give you another chance.”
“Oh, she does, huh?”
“She meddled. It’s what siblings who care about each other do. I should know.”
Russ smiled. “But what do you think?”
“I think you should get over here and kiss me before I change my mind.”
She didn’t have to ask him twice. A split second later they were in each other’s arms. He lifted his hands to cradle her dimpled, laughing face, her curls whispering over his knuckles as he lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her. She murmured something into his mouth and kissed him back, and something sweet and warm and fierce surged through him, instantly burning off two years of grief and fear and hopelessness.
Then she pulled away, frowning, even as she lifted a hand to his face. “Why didn’t you tell me, for heaven’s sake? About your wife and son?”
He lowered his eyes. Took a breath. Pressed her hand to his heart. “Because it hurt.”
One side of her mouth lifted. “Does it still?”
“Not as much as it did five minutes ago.”
“Good,” she said, hope shining in her eyes, and Russ drew her close, resting his chin on her curls. “I’m sorry I was an ass.”
“So am I,” she mumbled into his chest, then leaned back to meet his gaze. “Bit was your son’s, wasn’t it? And the car seat and high chair…”
“Yeah. I kept telling myself I’d get rid of them one day, but one day somehow never came. I honestly don’t know what possessed me to give Bit to Abbie. But it helped.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
She blew a soft laugh through her nose. “After you left the other night, I very nearly tossed him into the trash. But I couldn’t. Good thing, too, ’cause Abbie asked for him the next morning. They’re BFFs now.” When he laughed, she touched soft fingers to the side of his face. “Tell me about Sarah.”
Russ smiled. “In some ways, she was a lot like you,” he said softly. “Funny. Brave. Crazy. She made me… She made me stop taking myself so seriously, which was a very good thing. Then she and Adam died…” He hugged Meg again. “And I didn’t think I’d ever be able to not take things seriously again.”
“Is it scary that I understood that?”
Chuckling, Russ cupped her face again, touching noses. “But just so you know, I didn’t fall in love with a clone of Sarah. I fell in love with you.”
He saw her swallow. “Nobody will believe this, you know.”
“So screw ’em. This is about us. Nobody else.”
She linked her hands around the back of his neck, her lips curved. “You’re what I need in my life, too. Somebody to keep me tethered to earth. Okay, maybe not always, that would be boring, but without you as the constant in our lives, all the rest of it means nothing. As long as…you’re sure you’re ready for this? For us?”
“You have no idea how ready I am.” Russ smiled. Then he kissed her again, feeling whole and sane and happy again for the first time in forever.
THE END
Forever, Actually...Chapter 7
“I don’t believe this,” Nova said on the other end of the line later that night. “It’s perfectly obvious how you feel about her. Not to mention that it’s reciprocated—”
“Nove…don’t,” Russ said on a heavy sigh. “Please. It’s like…we’re on different planes. Not that I wouldn’t mind being on the same one with her, but I have no clue how to get there.”
A long pause stretched between them. “You didn’t even tell her, did you?”
“What would have been the point?”
“Oh, I don’t know…maybe so you could freaking move on, already?”
“And maybe some of us are better at that than others, okay?” At her silence, he sighed again. “Sorry, that was low.”
“Damn straight. Not to mention stupid.”
“Yeah, well, that’s fitting, seeing as I’m all about stupid these days.”
“No,” she said, more gently. “What this is all about is you not liking messy. And falling for someone that fast is about as messy as it gets. But even you know the best things in life are messy. Cotton candy. Lobster.” She chuckled. “Sex.”
“Don’t think this is appropriate brother-sister conversation.”
“Dude. If I were a guy I’d go for Meg in a heartbeat. Just sayin’.” When he didn’t respond, she said, “I think you’re making a huge mistake, Russ. Seriously.”
But he hadn’t, Russ thought after his sister hung up. What he’d done was save both him and Meg from even more heartache down the road.
Really, it was better this way.
***
Crying over a guy she’d met three days before was beyond dumb. But once Meg got Abbie to bed, the damn tears just wouldn’t stop. She knew she’d get over it—get over him—but right now, it hurt. Of course, she had no one to blame but herself, letting herself get carried away like that. Seeing rainbows where there weren’t any.
“When are you ever going to learn?” she muttered, swiping Abbie’s toys off the floor, a fresh barrage of tears spilling over her eyelids when she got to Bit, the rabbit Russ had given her. Sniffling, Meg sank onto the edge of the sofa bed, hugging the plushy critter to her chest, imagining the thing smelled like Russ.
What a weirdo, she thought, holding the floppy thing out to look at it. Buying her kid a toy and then pulling the vanishing act.
Frowning, she swiped her hand across her eyes to focus on one of Bit’s paws. Holy moly. You could hardly tell, unless you looked closely, but…
She carried the toy over to the end table lamp to get a better look. Yep. That was definitely a worn spot.
Great. Not only was the man a world-class heartbreaker, but he gave her kid used toys?
Furious, Meg stomped to the kitchen, fully intending to dump it in the trash. And yet, when she lifted the garbage can cover, the poor little bunny looked at her with those soulful button eyes…
Ah, hell.
However, although Bit won a reprieve from the trash can, over the following week Meg remained more or less determined to exorcise Russ from her thoughts. And her family from her business. On neither account was she particularly successful. Although she might have succeeded, at least on the Russ front, had Nova not come in for her appointment the following Monday and wrangled Meg into having lunch afterward.
Okay, maybe not wrangled, exactly. More like, Russ’s sister said, “How about lunch?” and Meg said, “Sure,” and ten minutes later they were sitting in the fifties-homage Coach House Diner near the Institute, lusting after every platter of food that sailed past.
“I’m a little surprised you agreed to come to lunch with me,” Nova said, backing up to let the waitress set a chef’s salad the size of Milwaukee in front of her.
“Not nearly as much as I am that you asked me.”
Nova smiled. Then sighed, drizzling creamy Italian dressing over her greens. “I need to know how you feel about Russ.”
Meg’s eyes shot to the duplicates of Russ’s in front of her. It hurt. “Why?”
“Because I’d at least like to have the facts straight before I meddle.”
Over a short, soft laugh, Meg shook her head. “Let’s just say he’s the one who stopped this thing in its tracks. Not me.”
“He say why?”
“Not really. Other than some jibber-jabber about being afraid of becoming my cage.” Meg dunked her fry in a ketchup puddle. It broke in half. Rats. “Funny thing is, two weeks ago? I would’ve agreed with him. Was no more ready for something solid and real and permanent than I was to fly to the moon. Then I met your brother, and it was like…whoa.” She lifted her eyes to Nova. “Usually when you fall so hard and fast for somebody, it leaves you feeling unbalanced. Dizzy. With Russ, though…it was like…” She laughed softly. “Not realizing how unsteady the ground had been under my feet until it stopped shaking. But it was pretty clear only one of us was willing to take that great big next step. And it wasn’t Russ.”
Across from her, Nova smiled. “Except for all his protests, you’re exactly what Russ needs in his life. What he wants, no matter how hard he pushes you away—”
“I’m not so sure. Heck, I probably would send him over the edge. Constantly changing jobs, moving the furniture around every week—I bet he hasn’t changed anything in years, right?”
“That’s true, but—”
“So maybe it is better this way, ending it before we drive each other nuts.”
“Meg. Stop.” Smiling, Nova reached for Meg’s hand across the table. “I know you’re what he needs because he’s already had someone like you in his life. And he was happier during those few years than I’ve ever seen him.”
Meg stilled. “What are you talking about?”
Nova released a breath. “He’s gonna kill me for interfering, but… True, my brother hasn’t rearranged his furniture in two years. But his wife did, every few weeks. And believe me, he’s no stranger to baby toys being strewn all over creation.”
“I don’t—”
“Russ is a widower, Meg,” Nova said, tears shining in her eyes. “His wife and little boy died in a car crash two years ago.”
“Nove…don’t,” Russ said on a heavy sigh. “Please. It’s like…we’re on different planes. Not that I wouldn’t mind being on the same one with her, but I have no clue how to get there.”
A long pause stretched between them. “You didn’t even tell her, did you?”
“What would have been the point?”
“Oh, I don’t know…maybe so you could freaking move on, already?”
“And maybe some of us are better at that than others, okay?” At her silence, he sighed again. “Sorry, that was low.”
“Damn straight. Not to mention stupid.”
“Yeah, well, that’s fitting, seeing as I’m all about stupid these days.”
“No,” she said, more gently. “What this is all about is you not liking messy. And falling for someone that fast is about as messy as it gets. But even you know the best things in life are messy. Cotton candy. Lobster.” She chuckled. “Sex.”
“Don’t think this is appropriate brother-sister conversation.”
“Dude. If I were a guy I’d go for Meg in a heartbeat. Just sayin’.” When he didn’t respond, she said, “I think you’re making a huge mistake, Russ. Seriously.”
But he hadn’t, Russ thought after his sister hung up. What he’d done was save both him and Meg from even more heartache down the road.
Really, it was better this way.
***
Crying over a guy she’d met three days before was beyond dumb. But once Meg got Abbie to bed, the damn tears just wouldn’t stop. She knew she’d get over it—get over him—but right now, it hurt. Of course, she had no one to blame but herself, letting herself get carried away like that. Seeing rainbows where there weren’t any.
“When are you ever going to learn?” she muttered, swiping Abbie’s toys off the floor, a fresh barrage of tears spilling over her eyelids when she got to Bit, the rabbit Russ had given her. Sniffling, Meg sank onto the edge of the sofa bed, hugging the plushy critter to her chest, imagining the thing smelled like Russ.
What a weirdo, she thought, holding the floppy thing out to look at it. Buying her kid a toy and then pulling the vanishing act.
Frowning, she swiped her hand across her eyes to focus on one of Bit’s paws. Holy moly. You could hardly tell, unless you looked closely, but…
She carried the toy over to the end table lamp to get a better look. Yep. That was definitely a worn spot.
Great. Not only was the man a world-class heartbreaker, but he gave her kid used toys?
Furious, Meg stomped to the kitchen, fully intending to dump it in the trash. And yet, when she lifted the garbage can cover, the poor little bunny looked at her with those soulful button eyes…
Ah, hell.
However, although Bit won a reprieve from the trash can, over the following week Meg remained more or less determined to exorcise Russ from her thoughts. And her family from her business. On neither account was she particularly successful. Although she might have succeeded, at least on the Russ front, had Nova not come in for her appointment the following Monday and wrangled Meg into having lunch afterward.
Okay, maybe not wrangled, exactly. More like, Russ’s sister said, “How about lunch?” and Meg said, “Sure,” and ten minutes later they were sitting in the fifties-homage Coach House Diner near the Institute, lusting after every platter of food that sailed past.
“I’m a little surprised you agreed to come to lunch with me,” Nova said, backing up to let the waitress set a chef’s salad the size of Milwaukee in front of her.
“Not nearly as much as I am that you asked me.”
Nova smiled. Then sighed, drizzling creamy Italian dressing over her greens. “I need to know how you feel about Russ.”
Meg’s eyes shot to the duplicates of Russ’s in front of her. It hurt. “Why?”
“Because I’d at least like to have the facts straight before I meddle.”
Over a short, soft laugh, Meg shook her head. “Let’s just say he’s the one who stopped this thing in its tracks. Not me.”
“He say why?”
“Not really. Other than some jibber-jabber about being afraid of becoming my cage.” Meg dunked her fry in a ketchup puddle. It broke in half. Rats. “Funny thing is, two weeks ago? I would’ve agreed with him. Was no more ready for something solid and real and permanent than I was to fly to the moon. Then I met your brother, and it was like…whoa.” She lifted her eyes to Nova. “Usually when you fall so hard and fast for somebody, it leaves you feeling unbalanced. Dizzy. With Russ, though…it was like…” She laughed softly. “Not realizing how unsteady the ground had been under my feet until it stopped shaking. But it was pretty clear only one of us was willing to take that great big next step. And it wasn’t Russ.”
Across from her, Nova smiled. “Except for all his protests, you’re exactly what Russ needs in his life. What he wants, no matter how hard he pushes you away—”
“I’m not so sure. Heck, I probably would send him over the edge. Constantly changing jobs, moving the furniture around every week—I bet he hasn’t changed anything in years, right?”
“That’s true, but—”
“So maybe it is better this way, ending it before we drive each other nuts.”
“Meg. Stop.” Smiling, Nova reached for Meg’s hand across the table. “I know you’re what he needs because he’s already had someone like you in his life. And he was happier during those few years than I’ve ever seen him.”
Meg stilled. “What are you talking about?”
Nova released a breath. “He’s gonna kill me for interfering, but… True, my brother hasn’t rearranged his furniture in two years. But his wife did, every few weeks. And believe me, he’s no stranger to baby toys being strewn all over creation.”
“I don’t—”
“Russ is a widower, Meg,” Nova said, tears shining in her eyes. “His wife and little boy died in a car crash two years ago.”
Forever, Actually...Chapter 6
“Mine!” Abbie squealed, reaching for the toy, which she immediately clutched to her chest. Russ smiled, feeling oddly gratified. Then he turned his gaze to an understandably poleaxed Meg.
“Um…am I to interpret that as an apology for running out yesterday?”
Yeah, he’d figured that was coming. Meg was nothing if not one sharp cookie. But how could he possibly explain the conflicting impulses about to drive him crazy? That she was about to drive him crazy? That he couldn’t figure out whether he’d be more miserable with her, or without her? So instead he smiled for the baby, currently strangling the hapless rabbit, an image which nearly tore his heart in two. And sidestepped the question altogether.
“Nova has this bug up her butt about you and Abbie coming to dinner this evening,” he said, looking back at Meg. “And arguing with a pregnant woman is not on my agenda, believe me.”
To his relief, Meg laughed. A warm, wonderful, clearly irrepressible sound that seemed to come from the depths of her soul. “Smart man—”
“And maybe the zoo beforehand? It’s not far from there to my sister’s house. Um, I have her car. And a car seat.”
She tilted her head. The sun caressed her curls, and Russ ached. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because… Because it’s a beautiful day and it’s been far too long since I did something normal like go to the zoo. And going alone sucks.”
And maybe, if I spend the day with you, I’ll get you out of my system.
Then she smiled, putting the sun to shame, and he thought, Yeah. Good luck with that.
***
Although they still chattered at each other almost nonstop the entire afternoon, Meg sensed an edge to their conversation that hadn’t been there the day before. Almost as if this little outing was a test of some sort.
But for whom? And what, exactly, was the test?
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Russ with Abbie, who was on his shoulders so she could see the giraffes better over the crowd. His ease and competence with her was amazing for someone with no kids of his own, no nieces or nephews or younger siblings to practice on. Unless he’d babysat a lot when he was younger?
Or…maybe that whole clicking thing had just been a figment of her overwrought imagination and Russ was actually no more The One than the other losers she managed to attract. Or marry.
What are you up to? she wanted to ask. What’s your game?
Then he looked over, almost as if he’d heard her, with a half smile and such a weird blend of joy and pain in his eyes she lost her breath.
About two and a half seconds before she lost her heart.
Which immediately shot to the top of the list of all the crazy, lamebrained, off-the-wall things she’d done in her life. Seriously, even for her this was a doozy.
Two hours later, they arrived at Nova’s cute little Cape Cod in Brookline. Nova hugged Meg, then squatted in front of Abbie to give her another stuffed toy. A duck, this time.
“You guys really don’t have to do this,” Abbie said, inhaling the mouthwatering scents of tomato sauce and garlic and browning butter. “She’s going to expect every person she meets to give her a toy! Oh! You have a high chair for her?”
“It’s…borrowed,” Nova said, touching Meg’s shoulders as she moved to the kitchen.
“From the same people who lent Russ the car seat?”
“Um, yes, actually. Will she eat lasagna? Because I can always fix her something else.”
“Are you kidding? This kid eats everything. Just like her mama.” She laughed. “Now I’m really glad Russ wasn’t up to arguing with a pregnant woman—it smells fantastic in here!”
She turned just as Russ tore his gaze away from his sister to give her a quick, nervous smile that set off all kinds of alarms.
***
“Ohmigosh—I’ve talked your ears off since we left your sister’s house!” Meg said with a light laugh from the passenger seat. “Guess I’m a little wound up. Fun days and good food will do that to me. So I’ll be quiet now. Your turn.”
Nearly back to Meg’s house, the baby asleep in the car seat behind him, Russ glanced over to catch Meg’s irrepressible grin. A grin that was tearing him to pieces. “It’s okay,” he said softly, turning on Meg’s street. “I didn’t have much to say, anyway.”
“Yeah, I kinda caught that.” She paused. “Any particular reason?”
Where would she like him to start? He was trying, he really was. And Meg was great. Beyond great. Despite the leftover hurt lingering in her eyes when she talked about Abbie’s father, it hadn’t left her even remotely bitter. Cautious, sure, but not bitter. But, see, that was the problem. His problem.
Because the more he was around all that unbridled joy and passion for life, the more he felt like a boring old pook who could never really be what she needed.
A boring old pook with stuff in his past he couldn’t seem to shake, no matter how hard he tried. How much he wanted to. Yeah, yeah, he’d told himself today was all about getting Meg and Abbie out of his system. Except it had backfired, big-time, as both baby and mama unwittingly wrapped themselves around his little finger.
His heart.
Now in front of Meg’s house, Russ dragged a hand down his face before forcing himself to meet her questioning eyes. “I haven’t exactly been honest with you.”
“Oh?”
He looked back over the dark street, smiling a little when Abbie sighed in her sleep.
“I had a great time today, too,” he said. “Maybe too great. See, I’ve kinda been out of the loop for a while, too. And you…”
He pushed out a sigh, then looked at her again. “I didn’t want you to suck me in, but you did. You and Abbie both. And now that I am…” His lips pressed together, he faced front again. “I can’t do this, Meg. Not to you.”
“Do what?”
“You’re like…some little wild thing that needs to be free. And I’d be your cage.”
She stayed still for a very long moment. “A cage? Or a safe place?” When he didn’t respond, she said, “If this is about sock drawers…I think we could work that out.”
He almost laughed. “See…I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s okay. I do—”
“I’m sorry.” He looked at her, seeing his own anguish reflected in her eyes. “I really am.”
Several seconds passed. “Yeah,” she said at last, shoving open her door. “Me, too.”
“You need help with the baby?”
“Nope, I’m good,” she said, yanking open the back door and clumsily pulling the toddler out of the car seat, grabbing the baby bag. Then she slammed shut both doors and marched up the walk, the baby slumped against her chest, not even saying goodbye.
Russ had no idea how long he sat there, watching lights go on in her apartment, before he finally pulled away, feeling more wretched than he would have thought possible.
“Um…am I to interpret that as an apology for running out yesterday?”
Yeah, he’d figured that was coming. Meg was nothing if not one sharp cookie. But how could he possibly explain the conflicting impulses about to drive him crazy? That she was about to drive him crazy? That he couldn’t figure out whether he’d be more miserable with her, or without her? So instead he smiled for the baby, currently strangling the hapless rabbit, an image which nearly tore his heart in two. And sidestepped the question altogether.
“Nova has this bug up her butt about you and Abbie coming to dinner this evening,” he said, looking back at Meg. “And arguing with a pregnant woman is not on my agenda, believe me.”
To his relief, Meg laughed. A warm, wonderful, clearly irrepressible sound that seemed to come from the depths of her soul. “Smart man—”
“And maybe the zoo beforehand? It’s not far from there to my sister’s house. Um, I have her car. And a car seat.”
She tilted her head. The sun caressed her curls, and Russ ached. “Why are you doing this?”
“Because… Because it’s a beautiful day and it’s been far too long since I did something normal like go to the zoo. And going alone sucks.”
And maybe, if I spend the day with you, I’ll get you out of my system.
Then she smiled, putting the sun to shame, and he thought, Yeah. Good luck with that.
***
Although they still chattered at each other almost nonstop the entire afternoon, Meg sensed an edge to their conversation that hadn’t been there the day before. Almost as if this little outing was a test of some sort.
But for whom? And what, exactly, was the test?
Out of the corner of her eye, she watched Russ with Abbie, who was on his shoulders so she could see the giraffes better over the crowd. His ease and competence with her was amazing for someone with no kids of his own, no nieces or nephews or younger siblings to practice on. Unless he’d babysat a lot when he was younger?
Or…maybe that whole clicking thing had just been a figment of her overwrought imagination and Russ was actually no more The One than the other losers she managed to attract. Or marry.
What are you up to? she wanted to ask. What’s your game?
Then he looked over, almost as if he’d heard her, with a half smile and such a weird blend of joy and pain in his eyes she lost her breath.
About two and a half seconds before she lost her heart.
Which immediately shot to the top of the list of all the crazy, lamebrained, off-the-wall things she’d done in her life. Seriously, even for her this was a doozy.
Two hours later, they arrived at Nova’s cute little Cape Cod in Brookline. Nova hugged Meg, then squatted in front of Abbie to give her another stuffed toy. A duck, this time.
“You guys really don’t have to do this,” Abbie said, inhaling the mouthwatering scents of tomato sauce and garlic and browning butter. “She’s going to expect every person she meets to give her a toy! Oh! You have a high chair for her?”
“It’s…borrowed,” Nova said, touching Meg’s shoulders as she moved to the kitchen.
“From the same people who lent Russ the car seat?”
“Um, yes, actually. Will she eat lasagna? Because I can always fix her something else.”
“Are you kidding? This kid eats everything. Just like her mama.” She laughed. “Now I’m really glad Russ wasn’t up to arguing with a pregnant woman—it smells fantastic in here!”
She turned just as Russ tore his gaze away from his sister to give her a quick, nervous smile that set off all kinds of alarms.
***
“Ohmigosh—I’ve talked your ears off since we left your sister’s house!” Meg said with a light laugh from the passenger seat. “Guess I’m a little wound up. Fun days and good food will do that to me. So I’ll be quiet now. Your turn.”
Nearly back to Meg’s house, the baby asleep in the car seat behind him, Russ glanced over to catch Meg’s irrepressible grin. A grin that was tearing him to pieces. “It’s okay,” he said softly, turning on Meg’s street. “I didn’t have much to say, anyway.”
“Yeah, I kinda caught that.” She paused. “Any particular reason?”
Where would she like him to start? He was trying, he really was. And Meg was great. Beyond great. Despite the leftover hurt lingering in her eyes when she talked about Abbie’s father, it hadn’t left her even remotely bitter. Cautious, sure, but not bitter. But, see, that was the problem. His problem.
Because the more he was around all that unbridled joy and passion for life, the more he felt like a boring old pook who could never really be what she needed.
A boring old pook with stuff in his past he couldn’t seem to shake, no matter how hard he tried. How much he wanted to. Yeah, yeah, he’d told himself today was all about getting Meg and Abbie out of his system. Except it had backfired, big-time, as both baby and mama unwittingly wrapped themselves around his little finger.
His heart.
Now in front of Meg’s house, Russ dragged a hand down his face before forcing himself to meet her questioning eyes. “I haven’t exactly been honest with you.”
“Oh?”
He looked back over the dark street, smiling a little when Abbie sighed in her sleep.
“I had a great time today, too,” he said. “Maybe too great. See, I’ve kinda been out of the loop for a while, too. And you…”
He pushed out a sigh, then looked at her again. “I didn’t want you to suck me in, but you did. You and Abbie both. And now that I am…” His lips pressed together, he faced front again. “I can’t do this, Meg. Not to you.”
“Do what?”
“You’re like…some little wild thing that needs to be free. And I’d be your cage.”
She stayed still for a very long moment. “A cage? Or a safe place?” When he didn’t respond, she said, “If this is about sock drawers…I think we could work that out.”
He almost laughed. “See…I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“It’s okay. I do—”
“I’m sorry.” He looked at her, seeing his own anguish reflected in her eyes. “I really am.”
Several seconds passed. “Yeah,” she said at last, shoving open her door. “Me, too.”
“You need help with the baby?”
“Nope, I’m good,” she said, yanking open the back door and clumsily pulling the toddler out of the car seat, grabbing the baby bag. Then she slammed shut both doors and marched up the walk, the baby slumped against her chest, not even saying goodbye.
Russ had no idea how long he sat there, watching lights go on in her apartment, before he finally pulled away, feeling more wretched than he would have thought possible.
Forever, Actually...Chapter 5
How could such short legs cover so much ground, so quickly? streaked through Meg’s head as she and her oldest brother, Doug, took off after Abbie, even as she knew they were too far away to catch her before she lost her balance and fell in. One second, the baby had been chasing one of her cousins, the next she’d vanished, panic slicing through Meg like a ragged knife.
A knife that viciously twisted when she saw her baby girl gleefully running right toward the water, which to her probably just looked like a big wading pool.
“Abbie!” she yelled again, her heart pounding harder than her feet against the grass. “Come back! Come back!”
But at the precise moment the baby teetered on the edge of the pond, Russ dashed out of nowhere and snatched her to safety. The little girl erupted into startled tears, twisting around and wailing for Meg.
“Oh, God!” Meg ran up to pull Abbie from his arms, burying her face in her baby’s warm curls. “Thank you so much—”
“First rule of being a parent,” Russ said, fury snapping in his eyes, “is that you never take your eyes off your child, not even for a moment! What on earth were you thinking?”
“Whoa, man,” Doug panted out, trying to catch his breath. “Chill. No matter how careful you are, sometimes kids get away—”
“It’s okay, Dougie, he’s right,” Meg said, her heart painfully thumping as her wobbly legs gave way and she sank to the grass, Abbie still clasped tight. Over and over, she stroked the baby’s hair, shaking her head. “I should have kept a better eye on her, I should’ve—”
She burst into tears.
“Aw, Meggie, don’t.” Just like all her brothers, Doug hated tears. “It’s okay, the baby’s fine—”
“I know she is, but…” Sniffing, she looked up at her brother. “Go on back to the others. Just…give us a minute, okay?”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Go on.”
As Doug trudged back up the hill, Meg looked at Russ. “So now you think I’m a total idiot.”
His mouth pulled into a tight line, he glanced away. Blew out a breath. “It was a knee-jerk reaction, sorry. But things happen so quickly…”
“Tell me about it. I swear, I looked away for a second and she was gone. I’ve never, ever done that before.” She kissed Abbie, whose tears had stopped, as well. “And I won’t again, believe me.” Silence. Meg took a deep breath and said softly, “You don’t hate kids at all, do you?”
A long pause preceded, “No.”
Meg nodded, then tried to get up, although her legs were still shaky. “I think we’ve both had enough adventure for one day. Thanks again.”
“No, wait,” he said after she started off. “I’m done here—let me take you guys home.”
“It’s just six blocks, I can manage. Besides…” She glanced at his truck, then back at him. “No car seat.”
“Then I’ll walk you.”
Meg almost smiled. “You don’t trust me to get the kid home in one piece?”
He didn’t smile. But when he lightly touched her arm to say he needed to tell Nova, who’d apparently taken the truck back around to the house, he was leaving, every nerve ending she possessed went kaflooey.
Not good, she thought.
At all.
***
All the way back to Meg’s place, Russ fought to erase the image of his sister’s raised brow and “Oh, yeah?” expression from his brain. He was only remotely successful. Which is more than he could say for the struggle to erase the freaked look in Meg’s eyes when she grabbed her daughter out of his arms.
Or his own idiocy of coming down on her so hard. Especially when it was perfectly obvious the incident had scared the stuffing out of her.
Seeing them home was the least he could do.
“No, I’ll carry her up,” he said when they reached the slightly run-down Queen Anne where Meg had her apartment—on the third floor. So for the second time that day he felt the sweet weight of a baby against his chest, this time the dead weight of a totally sacked-out baby.
“Don’t look too hard at the apartment,” Meg said when she unlocked the paneled door. “Tidiness isn’t my thing. Especially with a toddler.”
And indeed the place was a mess. Not in a should-be-condemned way, though. Just in a baby-lives-here way; the sunny, wood-floored living room overrun with toys and other kid stuff. What you could see around the pulled-out sofa bed, the boldly flowered sheets a rumpled heap.
“You can put her down in her crib. In there,” Meg said, nodding toward another door. The baby’s room was tiny, for sure, but bright and cheerful with a white crib and rocker, a thick, colorful rug on the floor. He laid down the zonked-out kid, a smile tugging at his mouth when she plugged her thumb into her mouth. When he returned to the living room, however, the sofa had been put back together, many of the toys gathered into a large laundry basket beside it. And in the middle of the room, an obviously anxious young woman with big, hopeful brown eyes.
“Um…would you like to stay for lunch? If you’re not busy, I mean. It’s, um, the least I could do, considering you saved my baby’s life.”
Russ smiled, her earnestness wrenching open something inside him he thought for sure would stay closed forever. “I kept her from falling in the pond, but I think ‘saving her life’ might be stretching it.”
Meg’s eyes watered. “It’s deep there. And I don’t swim. And a baby can drown in a frighteningly sh-short amount of t-time.”
Instinct sent Russ across the room to gather Meg into his arms, absorbing the aftershock, although he wasn’t sure which one of them he was comforting. Seconds later, though, she pulled away, swiping at her eyes. “Sorry,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I’m a total wuss when it comes to my kid.”
“It’s allowed,” he said, and she smiled, and the tightness in his chest eased a little more.
“So…are sandwiches okay?” she said, moving into the tiny kitchen. “Mom makes sure I’ve got tons of deli stuff.”
He opened his mouth to say, “I really have to go.” But what came out instead was, “That’d be great, thanks.”
Because he’d been right—she smelled like flowers.
***
Meg had thought for sure offering Russ lunch would send him fleeing. Especially after that hug. Oh, she’d remember that hug for a long, long time. A man who could hug like that…
Don’t even go there, chickie.
Anyway.
That he was still here an hour later was nothing short of astounding.
And puzzling.
Because, as they worked through the sandwiches, her mother’s macaroni salad and bowls of ice cream, they talked. About everything. Their remarkably similar middle-class childhoods. His sister’s decision to have her husband’s baby. Meg’s extensive Red Sox memorabilia collection, which Russ dubbed “impressive as hell.” How summer had always meant trekking out to Fenway with his dad.
“Same here,” she said, averting her gaze to spoon the last bit of mint chocolate chip out of the bowl as they sat on opposite ends of her sofa, the only sound a lone cicada’s drone in the leafy oak outside her windows. Dude was clearly big on family ties. So why wasn’t he married, already? Clunking her spoon into the empty bowl, she said, “I prided myself on being able to heckle the Yankees louder than all three of my brothers put together. Season ticket holders would cower when they saw us coming.”
Russ chuckled and their eyes met for a second longer than necessary, long enough for Meg to see the combination of nostalgia and longing in his eyes, to feel something she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. And sure as heck had no business feeling for somebody she’d just met. But there it was, an almost physical sensation of the pieces clicking effortlessly into place.
This time Russ looked away. “How’d you end up working at Armstrong?”
“Oh, that’s just for two weeks. I’m what you call a professional temp.” When Russ frowned, she said, “I like changing jobs every couple of weeks, although some last longer than that. Keeps the brain from going stagnant. I think I’d die if I had to face the same job, day in and day out. Besides, I like meeting new people. Learning new things.”
“You got something against stability?”
She shrugged. “What can I say, I bore easily.”
Russ looked at her for a long moment, then blew a soft laugh through his nose. “Every morning for breakfast I have a bowl of Cheerios with one teaspoon of sugar, half a grapefruit and a glass of orange juice. Can’t remember the last time I had something different.”
Meg’s brows lifted. “Wow.” Then she grinned. “Bet you never leave the house without making your bed, either.”
“Nope.”
When Abbie’s get-me-up cry pierced the sharp, uneasy silence that followed, Meg jumped to her feet, nearly knocking her bowl off the coffee table. “Be right back.”
Except when she returned, Russ was gone. Meg shut her eyes. Doofus, she thought, then went about the rest of her day, refusing to let herself dwell on things that weren’t meant to be.
Until the next day, when she and Abbie got home after church and found Russ sitting on the house’s steps. With a large, funny-looking stuffed bunny.
He rose. “I thought…maybe Abbie would like this?”
What the heck…?
A knife that viciously twisted when she saw her baby girl gleefully running right toward the water, which to her probably just looked like a big wading pool.
“Abbie!” she yelled again, her heart pounding harder than her feet against the grass. “Come back! Come back!”
But at the precise moment the baby teetered on the edge of the pond, Russ dashed out of nowhere and snatched her to safety. The little girl erupted into startled tears, twisting around and wailing for Meg.
“Oh, God!” Meg ran up to pull Abbie from his arms, burying her face in her baby’s warm curls. “Thank you so much—”
“First rule of being a parent,” Russ said, fury snapping in his eyes, “is that you never take your eyes off your child, not even for a moment! What on earth were you thinking?”
“Whoa, man,” Doug panted out, trying to catch his breath. “Chill. No matter how careful you are, sometimes kids get away—”
“It’s okay, Dougie, he’s right,” Meg said, her heart painfully thumping as her wobbly legs gave way and she sank to the grass, Abbie still clasped tight. Over and over, she stroked the baby’s hair, shaking her head. “I should have kept a better eye on her, I should’ve—”
She burst into tears.
“Aw, Meggie, don’t.” Just like all her brothers, Doug hated tears. “It’s okay, the baby’s fine—”
“I know she is, but…” Sniffing, she looked up at her brother. “Go on back to the others. Just…give us a minute, okay?”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. Go on.”
As Doug trudged back up the hill, Meg looked at Russ. “So now you think I’m a total idiot.”
His mouth pulled into a tight line, he glanced away. Blew out a breath. “It was a knee-jerk reaction, sorry. But things happen so quickly…”
“Tell me about it. I swear, I looked away for a second and she was gone. I’ve never, ever done that before.” She kissed Abbie, whose tears had stopped, as well. “And I won’t again, believe me.” Silence. Meg took a deep breath and said softly, “You don’t hate kids at all, do you?”
A long pause preceded, “No.”
Meg nodded, then tried to get up, although her legs were still shaky. “I think we’ve both had enough adventure for one day. Thanks again.”
“No, wait,” he said after she started off. “I’m done here—let me take you guys home.”
“It’s just six blocks, I can manage. Besides…” She glanced at his truck, then back at him. “No car seat.”
“Then I’ll walk you.”
Meg almost smiled. “You don’t trust me to get the kid home in one piece?”
He didn’t smile. But when he lightly touched her arm to say he needed to tell Nova, who’d apparently taken the truck back around to the house, he was leaving, every nerve ending she possessed went kaflooey.
Not good, she thought.
At all.
***
All the way back to Meg’s place, Russ fought to erase the image of his sister’s raised brow and “Oh, yeah?” expression from his brain. He was only remotely successful. Which is more than he could say for the struggle to erase the freaked look in Meg’s eyes when she grabbed her daughter out of his arms.
Or his own idiocy of coming down on her so hard. Especially when it was perfectly obvious the incident had scared the stuffing out of her.
Seeing them home was the least he could do.
“No, I’ll carry her up,” he said when they reached the slightly run-down Queen Anne where Meg had her apartment—on the third floor. So for the second time that day he felt the sweet weight of a baby against his chest, this time the dead weight of a totally sacked-out baby.
“Don’t look too hard at the apartment,” Meg said when she unlocked the paneled door. “Tidiness isn’t my thing. Especially with a toddler.”
And indeed the place was a mess. Not in a should-be-condemned way, though. Just in a baby-lives-here way; the sunny, wood-floored living room overrun with toys and other kid stuff. What you could see around the pulled-out sofa bed, the boldly flowered sheets a rumpled heap.
“You can put her down in her crib. In there,” Meg said, nodding toward another door. The baby’s room was tiny, for sure, but bright and cheerful with a white crib and rocker, a thick, colorful rug on the floor. He laid down the zonked-out kid, a smile tugging at his mouth when she plugged her thumb into her mouth. When he returned to the living room, however, the sofa had been put back together, many of the toys gathered into a large laundry basket beside it. And in the middle of the room, an obviously anxious young woman with big, hopeful brown eyes.
“Um…would you like to stay for lunch? If you’re not busy, I mean. It’s, um, the least I could do, considering you saved my baby’s life.”
Russ smiled, her earnestness wrenching open something inside him he thought for sure would stay closed forever. “I kept her from falling in the pond, but I think ‘saving her life’ might be stretching it.”
Meg’s eyes watered. “It’s deep there. And I don’t swim. And a baby can drown in a frighteningly sh-short amount of t-time.”
Instinct sent Russ across the room to gather Meg into his arms, absorbing the aftershock, although he wasn’t sure which one of them he was comforting. Seconds later, though, she pulled away, swiping at her eyes. “Sorry,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I’m a total wuss when it comes to my kid.”
“It’s allowed,” he said, and she smiled, and the tightness in his chest eased a little more.
“So…are sandwiches okay?” she said, moving into the tiny kitchen. “Mom makes sure I’ve got tons of deli stuff.”
He opened his mouth to say, “I really have to go.” But what came out instead was, “That’d be great, thanks.”
Because he’d been right—she smelled like flowers.
***
Meg had thought for sure offering Russ lunch would send him fleeing. Especially after that hug. Oh, she’d remember that hug for a long, long time. A man who could hug like that…
Don’t even go there, chickie.
Anyway.
That he was still here an hour later was nothing short of astounding.
And puzzling.
Because, as they worked through the sandwiches, her mother’s macaroni salad and bowls of ice cream, they talked. About everything. Their remarkably similar middle-class childhoods. His sister’s decision to have her husband’s baby. Meg’s extensive Red Sox memorabilia collection, which Russ dubbed “impressive as hell.” How summer had always meant trekking out to Fenway with his dad.
“Same here,” she said, averting her gaze to spoon the last bit of mint chocolate chip out of the bowl as they sat on opposite ends of her sofa, the only sound a lone cicada’s drone in the leafy oak outside her windows. Dude was clearly big on family ties. So why wasn’t he married, already? Clunking her spoon into the empty bowl, she said, “I prided myself on being able to heckle the Yankees louder than all three of my brothers put together. Season ticket holders would cower when they saw us coming.”
Russ chuckled and their eyes met for a second longer than necessary, long enough for Meg to see the combination of nostalgia and longing in his eyes, to feel something she hadn’t felt in a long, long time. And sure as heck had no business feeling for somebody she’d just met. But there it was, an almost physical sensation of the pieces clicking effortlessly into place.
This time Russ looked away. “How’d you end up working at Armstrong?”
“Oh, that’s just for two weeks. I’m what you call a professional temp.” When Russ frowned, she said, “I like changing jobs every couple of weeks, although some last longer than that. Keeps the brain from going stagnant. I think I’d die if I had to face the same job, day in and day out. Besides, I like meeting new people. Learning new things.”
“You got something against stability?”
She shrugged. “What can I say, I bore easily.”
Russ looked at her for a long moment, then blew a soft laugh through his nose. “Every morning for breakfast I have a bowl of Cheerios with one teaspoon of sugar, half a grapefruit and a glass of orange juice. Can’t remember the last time I had something different.”
Meg’s brows lifted. “Wow.” Then she grinned. “Bet you never leave the house without making your bed, either.”
“Nope.”
When Abbie’s get-me-up cry pierced the sharp, uneasy silence that followed, Meg jumped to her feet, nearly knocking her bowl off the coffee table. “Be right back.”
Except when she returned, Russ was gone. Meg shut her eyes. Doofus, she thought, then went about the rest of her day, refusing to let herself dwell on things that weren’t meant to be.
Until the next day, when she and Abbie got home after church and found Russ sitting on the house’s steps. With a large, funny-looking stuffed bunny.
He rose. “I thought…maybe Abbie would like this?”
What the heck…?
Forever, Actually...Chapter 4
“Meggie! Over here!”
In the moments before Meg’s father called her, Russ had seen the indecision in her face. The panic. Struggling with the impulse to bolt, no doubt. But why should it matter to her, whether he was there or not? Especially considering how badly they’d left things.
More to the point, why the hell couldn’t he take his eyes off her as she bumpily wheeled the baby across the uneven grass, ridged with roots from a trio of fifty-feet-tall spruces? Why did his heart knock against his rib cage when he saw her react in feigned outrage to something her brother said, then take off after him, laughing, until the two of them went down in the grass like a couple of overgrown puppies?
Why did his breath leave his lungs when she sat up, her wild hair flecked with loose grass and spruce needles, holding out her arms to her giggling daughter, toddling across the grass to throw herself in her mother’s arms—?
“Isn’t that the receptionist from the Institute?” Nova said behind him.
“Uh, yeah.” Realizing he’d been clutching the tray hard enough to gouge his palms, he set it down beside a prepared bed close to the house. Then he frowned at his sister, plopping a specimen rhododendron beside the flat. “And you shouldn’t be doing that.”
Nova straightened, brushing off her hands. “I’m pregnant. Not incapacitated.” Shielding her eyes, she looked toward Meg and the baby. “What an adorable little girl!”
Russ grunted, stalking back to the truck for more mums. Nova followed.
“She knows the landscapers?”
“She’s related to the landscapers,” Russ said, jerking the next flat so hard several plants tumbled into the truck’s bed.
“Wait a minute…didn’t you have dinner with—”
“Yes.”
“Wow. Growling, even.” Russ tossed his sister a dirty look. She laughed, then said, “Think I’ll go over and say hi.”
And she was gone before Russ could think up a plausible reason why she shouldn’t. Since he doubted The woman scares the holy bejeebers out of me was gonna cut it.
***
For the second time in less than five minutes, Meg had to fight the urge to escape. Except Nova Farris’s smile, as she quickly covered the ground between them, somehow sliced right through Meg’s trepidation.
“Hey!” she called out, waving. “What a surprise to see you here!”
“Yeah,” Meg said, curling her arms around Abbie, sitting in her lap. “You, too.”
Nova sank onto the cool grass beside the two of them, smiling for Abbie. “Ohmigosh, she’s gorgeous! How old?”
“Eighteen months.” Abbie scootched closer, ducking her face behind Meg’s arm. “And don’t let the coy act fool ya. She’s been known to reduce her older cousins to tears. And I’m talkin’ about the ones already in middle school.”
Nova laughed, then looked back toward her brother. Meg resisted for about half a second, then did the same, gawking at all those muscles bunching and shifting as he hefted plants off his truck. Like she’d never seen anybody lug greenery around before. “Russ tells me you guys had dinner,” Nova said.
Meg felt her skin warm. “Yeah. Along with eleventy billion of my nearest and dearest. And please don’t tell me you’re trying to fix us up, too.”
“Too?”
Shifting Little Miss Chunks in her arms, Meg shot a look at Andy, her youngest brother. “Apparently the only reason they told me to come on over today was because they knew your brother would be here, too. Even though—”
“What?”
A sigh punched from her chest. “This little angel in my lap, she wasn’t exactly planned. And her father wasn’t exactly thrilled about that. In fact, he took off before she was born. I didn’t even bother contesting the divorce. So your brother’s obvious aversion to kids…it just struck a nerve, that’s all.”
Nova frowned. “What makes you think Russ doesn’t like kids?”
“The look on his face when he saw Abbie, for one thing—”
“Meg!” her father shouted. “We’re goin’ around to the pond! Wanna come? The others are already there!”
“I better go,” Meg said, scrambling to her feet with the baby in her arms.
“No, wait—”
“Congratulations again,” she said, nodding toward Nova’s middle as Abbie wrapped her arms around her neck. “Raising a kid by yourself, it’s no walk in the park. But it’s worth every second.”
“I know,” Nova said, her eyes shiny.
Her own eyes stinging, Meg crossed the few feet to the baby’s stroller to plop her in it, then took off toward the sound of quacking ducks, where Abbie’s squeals of delight soothed her aching heart.
***
Seated behind the truck’s steering wheel, Russ watched both Meg take off and his sister’s approach, her face all confused and storm-cloudy.
“What the heck?” he said as she got in beside him, yanking shut the door.
“She thinks you don’t like kids.”
Russ started the truck, pulling back into the street to drive around to the large, man-made pond to unload the ferns and hostas Meg’s brother had ordered. “It’s just as well,” he said over the crush to his chest.
He could feel Nova’s eyes on the side of his face. “Ohmigosh. You like her, don’t you? Only you’re scared, so you deliberately put her off.”
“Back off, Nove. I mean it.”
His sister twisted in her seat. “Oh, wow. This is huge—”
“For heaven’s sake, I barely know the woman. And anyway, I can already tell she’s not my type.”
“Oh, really?” Nova said, turning back around. Smiling.
Roughly five gazillion Carters were at the far end of the duck pond—the shallow end—laughing and goofing around, their multitudinous progeny a blur as they swarmed back and forth. Sighing, Russ pulled the truck up beside a bank of gracefully drooping willows fifty yards away to unload the plants, doing his best, as he and Nova worked, to not look. Not yearn. Not…envy.
“Abbie!”
At Meg’s shriek, Russ’s head snapped up…just in time to see the baby tumbling down the incline toward the deeper part of the pond, way too fast to control her chubby little legs.
In the moments before Meg’s father called her, Russ had seen the indecision in her face. The panic. Struggling with the impulse to bolt, no doubt. But why should it matter to her, whether he was there or not? Especially considering how badly they’d left things.
More to the point, why the hell couldn’t he take his eyes off her as she bumpily wheeled the baby across the uneven grass, ridged with roots from a trio of fifty-feet-tall spruces? Why did his heart knock against his rib cage when he saw her react in feigned outrage to something her brother said, then take off after him, laughing, until the two of them went down in the grass like a couple of overgrown puppies?
Why did his breath leave his lungs when she sat up, her wild hair flecked with loose grass and spruce needles, holding out her arms to her giggling daughter, toddling across the grass to throw herself in her mother’s arms—?
“Isn’t that the receptionist from the Institute?” Nova said behind him.
“Uh, yeah.” Realizing he’d been clutching the tray hard enough to gouge his palms, he set it down beside a prepared bed close to the house. Then he frowned at his sister, plopping a specimen rhododendron beside the flat. “And you shouldn’t be doing that.”
Nova straightened, brushing off her hands. “I’m pregnant. Not incapacitated.” Shielding her eyes, she looked toward Meg and the baby. “What an adorable little girl!”
Russ grunted, stalking back to the truck for more mums. Nova followed.
“She knows the landscapers?”
“She’s related to the landscapers,” Russ said, jerking the next flat so hard several plants tumbled into the truck’s bed.
“Wait a minute…didn’t you have dinner with—”
“Yes.”
“Wow. Growling, even.” Russ tossed his sister a dirty look. She laughed, then said, “Think I’ll go over and say hi.”
And she was gone before Russ could think up a plausible reason why she shouldn’t. Since he doubted The woman scares the holy bejeebers out of me was gonna cut it.
***
For the second time in less than five minutes, Meg had to fight the urge to escape. Except Nova Farris’s smile, as she quickly covered the ground between them, somehow sliced right through Meg’s trepidation.
“Hey!” she called out, waving. “What a surprise to see you here!”
“Yeah,” Meg said, curling her arms around Abbie, sitting in her lap. “You, too.”
Nova sank onto the cool grass beside the two of them, smiling for Abbie. “Ohmigosh, she’s gorgeous! How old?”
“Eighteen months.” Abbie scootched closer, ducking her face behind Meg’s arm. “And don’t let the coy act fool ya. She’s been known to reduce her older cousins to tears. And I’m talkin’ about the ones already in middle school.”
Nova laughed, then looked back toward her brother. Meg resisted for about half a second, then did the same, gawking at all those muscles bunching and shifting as he hefted plants off his truck. Like she’d never seen anybody lug greenery around before. “Russ tells me you guys had dinner,” Nova said.
Meg felt her skin warm. “Yeah. Along with eleventy billion of my nearest and dearest. And please don’t tell me you’re trying to fix us up, too.”
“Too?”
Shifting Little Miss Chunks in her arms, Meg shot a look at Andy, her youngest brother. “Apparently the only reason they told me to come on over today was because they knew your brother would be here, too. Even though—”
“What?”
A sigh punched from her chest. “This little angel in my lap, she wasn’t exactly planned. And her father wasn’t exactly thrilled about that. In fact, he took off before she was born. I didn’t even bother contesting the divorce. So your brother’s obvious aversion to kids…it just struck a nerve, that’s all.”
Nova frowned. “What makes you think Russ doesn’t like kids?”
“The look on his face when he saw Abbie, for one thing—”
“Meg!” her father shouted. “We’re goin’ around to the pond! Wanna come? The others are already there!”
“I better go,” Meg said, scrambling to her feet with the baby in her arms.
“No, wait—”
“Congratulations again,” she said, nodding toward Nova’s middle as Abbie wrapped her arms around her neck. “Raising a kid by yourself, it’s no walk in the park. But it’s worth every second.”
“I know,” Nova said, her eyes shiny.
Her own eyes stinging, Meg crossed the few feet to the baby’s stroller to plop her in it, then took off toward the sound of quacking ducks, where Abbie’s squeals of delight soothed her aching heart.
***
Seated behind the truck’s steering wheel, Russ watched both Meg take off and his sister’s approach, her face all confused and storm-cloudy.
“What the heck?” he said as she got in beside him, yanking shut the door.
“She thinks you don’t like kids.”
Russ started the truck, pulling back into the street to drive around to the large, man-made pond to unload the ferns and hostas Meg’s brother had ordered. “It’s just as well,” he said over the crush to his chest.
He could feel Nova’s eyes on the side of his face. “Ohmigosh. You like her, don’t you? Only you’re scared, so you deliberately put her off.”
“Back off, Nove. I mean it.”
His sister twisted in her seat. “Oh, wow. This is huge—”
“For heaven’s sake, I barely know the woman. And anyway, I can already tell she’s not my type.”
“Oh, really?” Nova said, turning back around. Smiling.
Roughly five gazillion Carters were at the far end of the duck pond—the shallow end—laughing and goofing around, their multitudinous progeny a blur as they swarmed back and forth. Sighing, Russ pulled the truck up beside a bank of gracefully drooping willows fifty yards away to unload the plants, doing his best, as he and Nova worked, to not look. Not yearn. Not…envy.
“Abbie!”
At Meg’s shriek, Russ’s head snapped up…just in time to see the baby tumbling down the incline toward the deeper part of the pond, way too fast to control her chubby little legs.
Forever, Actually...Chapter 3
“Yeah,” Meg said, her forehead crunching, the soft laughter in her eyes gone. “This is Abbie. Say hi to Russ, sweet pea,” she encouraged the baby, who buried her face in her mother’s neck, their copper-colored curls tangling. Even from six feet away, Russ knew how they smelled, like flowers and baby powder. Regret fisted in his belly.
“You don’t like kids?” she asked, mildly enough, and his gut cramped harder.
“I’d better go,” he muttered, closing the dishwasher. Knowing he was taking the coward’s way out. Knowing, too, that sometimes evading the truth was the best option. The only option. “Please thank your mother for me.”
“Do it yourself, she’s right out in the living room.”
Confusion, more than irritation, colored her words. Whatever it was, Russ hated himself for having put it there. Except it was crazy, anyway, his reaction to her. Because she was…bubbly. And he didn’t do bubbly.
At least not anymore.
“You’re not leaving already!” Disappointment swam in Frances Carter’s amber eyes. “We haven’t even had dessert yet!”
“I’m sorry, but I have a contractor coming at seven tomorrow morning,” he lied. “And I’ve got nearly an hour’s drive ahead of me….”
“Of course, of course, I understand,” Meg’s mother said, shepherding him to the front door. “But please—any Thursday night you’re free, you’re welcome to join us!”
Russ mumbled something about her being very kind, then got the hell out of there while he still could. Before the memory of a mischievous smile underneath a riot of red curls, the innocence in a baby’s calm, gray gaze, could suck him back in. Make him forget.
Or worse, make him remember.
***
“Ow!” Howie said, rubbing his shoulder after Meg smacked him. “What was that for?”
“You know perfectly well what that was for! Honestly, when are you guys—” this was directed at all the brothers “—gonna quit with the fix-up attempts? Or at least vet them a little better. Sheesh!”
She turned and stormed back into the kitchen, taking some small satisfaction in Howie’s yelp when the swinging door smacked him in the face. Abbie was outside again, chasing fireflies, too young to know she’d just been snubbed. Although why this was bothering Meg, she had no idea. So the dude wasn’t wild about kids. Like this was news. How many men were?
“Meg, I’m sorry,” her brother said, trying to get her attention as she flew around the kitchen, shoving aside assorted sisters-in-law. “I just thought, here’s this nice, single guy, not bad-looking, got his own business and—”
“And a) you ambushed both of us, which is not cool. And b) did you happen to feel him out as to how he felt about kids?” At Howie’s frown, Meg sighed. “No. I thought not.”
“Who doesn’t like kids?”
A genuine question, from him. As it would have been from any of her brothers, actually, all of whom got double—if not triple—doses of the Perfect Daddy gene. But for all Meg’s protestations about not being ready for a serious relationship, the truth was it wasn’t that easy finding somebody gung ho about taking on another man’s kid. Not that Abbie would ever want for good male role models, but the kid needed a father. One who’d love her as much as Meg loved her.
Somebody who’d love Meg as much as she deserved to be loved. God knows Abbie’s father hadn’t fit the bill on either count. And damned if Meg was going to put herself, or her daughter, through that particular hell a second time.
“I can’t believe you’d even ask that question,” she lobbed at her brother. Howie pushed out a breath, raking his hand over his thinning hair. But he gave her the frustrated Big Brother look that routinely drove her nuts.
“Not every man’s like The Skunk, you know.”
“Obviously not, since I’m related to four of them. But you didn’t see the look on Russ’s face when he saw Abbie.” To her shock, tears stung her eyes. What the heck? She blinked them back. “Not that anything would have come of it, anyway.”
“And how many times,” her mother said, “do I have to tell you boys to behave when we have company? What’s the point of inviting a young man over for Meg if you’re just going to scare him off?”
Meg almost laughed. “No, it’s not that. Well, not completely.” She sighed. “Open the dishwasher.” After a puzzled glance, her mother did; as a group, her sisters-in-law peered inside. And collectively gasped.
“I take it Russ did this?” Briana said, rubbing her belly.
“Yep.”
Four sets of eyes turned to her. Knowing eyes. Because the family penchant for messiness was legendary. Too many kids, too little incentive to fight a losing battle. Not that any of them let the sink pile with dirty dishes or anything like that, but pristine was not a top priority in any of their houses. Let alone sorting the silverware.
For a brief moment, she envisioned Russ’s sock drawer and shuddered. As he would undoubtedly do to hers.
If she had a sock drawer, that is.
So between that and his quick exit after seeing Abbie…
When no one said anything, she rotated her shoulders, held up her head and marched out of the room, secure in the knowledge she’d never see Russ Michaels again.
A thought she found strangely unsettling.
***
Toddlers, Meg groggily mused as Abbie’s “Get me up!” wail pierced the darkness, did not know from Saturday mornings. Unfortunately. Yawning, she shuffled through a toy-store’s worth of stuffed animals strewn on the floor of her itty-bitty apartment to get to the glorified pantry she’d turned into the cutest baby’s room ever. Standing in her crib, Abbie greeted her with outstretched arms and a huge smile, melting Meg’s heart. Even though it was still dark and the baby didn’t exactly smell like roses.
“Phew-wee, little girl,” she said, making a face. “Stin-kee!”
Abbie, naturally, thought this was hilarious. “’Tink-ee!” she said, holding her nose and waving the air while Meg quickly changed her diaper and dressed her in a clean Onesie. By this time the sky had pinked up enough to consider it morning, and the day stretched out in front of them.
Like an enormous void.
Not that Meg couldn’t think of a dozen activities to do with her daughter—the park, the zoo, hanging out with the cousins, but…
But look at this kid, she thought, smiling as she watched Abbie shovel scrambled eggs—more or less—into her mouth. Wasn’t there someone, somewhere, who’d go nuts for the chance to share this amazing kid with her?
And no, that didn’t mean she was still thinking about Russ. Because she wasn’t. Okay, maybe he’d crossed her mind once or twice. Because the more she thought about it, the more his reaction to Abbie bugged her. As though there was something more behind his reaction than a simple aversion to kids.
She sighed. Because some paths are simply not worth going down.
Meg cleaned up the eggified baby and sprang her out of her high chair; Abbie immediately toddled to the front door and pointed. “Bye-bye?” she said, just as Meg’s cell phone rang.
“Did I tell you we’re installing over at Blake House today?” her father said without preamble.
Meg smiled. Blake House had been a run-down, abandoned Queen Anne, not far from the Victorian neighborhood where she now lived. She used to dream about one day owning the old house, until a couple from New York beat her to it. Gradually they’d been restoring the old girl—and the ten acres of grounds she sat on—to its former glory to run as a small inn. Her father had been tickled to death to get the landscaping contract.
“On Saturday?”
“It’s a rush job. They got a wedding coming up, and we wouldn’t get it done in time if we waited. Anyway, you should bring the baby over. They got ducks. And peacocks. The boys are all bringing their kids, it’ll be fun.”
Another Saturday with the family, Meg thought on a sigh, then decided—it could be worse. A lot worse. So after a shared bath and a half-hour trying to find Abbie’s sandals, she tossed on a pair of shorts and a baby-doll blouse, strapped Abbie in her stroller and off they went, arriving at the old house twenty minutes later.
And what should be the first thing she saw, but Russ hauling a tray of full-grown chrysanthemums across the massive front lawn…about the same time he spotted her.
She froze, having no clue what to do next.
Although running like hell was sounding better by the second.
“You don’t like kids?” she asked, mildly enough, and his gut cramped harder.
“I’d better go,” he muttered, closing the dishwasher. Knowing he was taking the coward’s way out. Knowing, too, that sometimes evading the truth was the best option. The only option. “Please thank your mother for me.”
“Do it yourself, she’s right out in the living room.”
Confusion, more than irritation, colored her words. Whatever it was, Russ hated himself for having put it there. Except it was crazy, anyway, his reaction to her. Because she was…bubbly. And he didn’t do bubbly.
At least not anymore.
“You’re not leaving already!” Disappointment swam in Frances Carter’s amber eyes. “We haven’t even had dessert yet!”
“I’m sorry, but I have a contractor coming at seven tomorrow morning,” he lied. “And I’ve got nearly an hour’s drive ahead of me….”
“Of course, of course, I understand,” Meg’s mother said, shepherding him to the front door. “But please—any Thursday night you’re free, you’re welcome to join us!”
Russ mumbled something about her being very kind, then got the hell out of there while he still could. Before the memory of a mischievous smile underneath a riot of red curls, the innocence in a baby’s calm, gray gaze, could suck him back in. Make him forget.
Or worse, make him remember.
***
“Ow!” Howie said, rubbing his shoulder after Meg smacked him. “What was that for?”
“You know perfectly well what that was for! Honestly, when are you guys—” this was directed at all the brothers “—gonna quit with the fix-up attempts? Or at least vet them a little better. Sheesh!”
She turned and stormed back into the kitchen, taking some small satisfaction in Howie’s yelp when the swinging door smacked him in the face. Abbie was outside again, chasing fireflies, too young to know she’d just been snubbed. Although why this was bothering Meg, she had no idea. So the dude wasn’t wild about kids. Like this was news. How many men were?
“Meg, I’m sorry,” her brother said, trying to get her attention as she flew around the kitchen, shoving aside assorted sisters-in-law. “I just thought, here’s this nice, single guy, not bad-looking, got his own business and—”
“And a) you ambushed both of us, which is not cool. And b) did you happen to feel him out as to how he felt about kids?” At Howie’s frown, Meg sighed. “No. I thought not.”
“Who doesn’t like kids?”
A genuine question, from him. As it would have been from any of her brothers, actually, all of whom got double—if not triple—doses of the Perfect Daddy gene. But for all Meg’s protestations about not being ready for a serious relationship, the truth was it wasn’t that easy finding somebody gung ho about taking on another man’s kid. Not that Abbie would ever want for good male role models, but the kid needed a father. One who’d love her as much as Meg loved her.
Somebody who’d love Meg as much as she deserved to be loved. God knows Abbie’s father hadn’t fit the bill on either count. And damned if Meg was going to put herself, or her daughter, through that particular hell a second time.
“I can’t believe you’d even ask that question,” she lobbed at her brother. Howie pushed out a breath, raking his hand over his thinning hair. But he gave her the frustrated Big Brother look that routinely drove her nuts.
“Not every man’s like The Skunk, you know.”
“Obviously not, since I’m related to four of them. But you didn’t see the look on Russ’s face when he saw Abbie.” To her shock, tears stung her eyes. What the heck? She blinked them back. “Not that anything would have come of it, anyway.”
“And how many times,” her mother said, “do I have to tell you boys to behave when we have company? What’s the point of inviting a young man over for Meg if you’re just going to scare him off?”
Meg almost laughed. “No, it’s not that. Well, not completely.” She sighed. “Open the dishwasher.” After a puzzled glance, her mother did; as a group, her sisters-in-law peered inside. And collectively gasped.
“I take it Russ did this?” Briana said, rubbing her belly.
“Yep.”
Four sets of eyes turned to her. Knowing eyes. Because the family penchant for messiness was legendary. Too many kids, too little incentive to fight a losing battle. Not that any of them let the sink pile with dirty dishes or anything like that, but pristine was not a top priority in any of their houses. Let alone sorting the silverware.
For a brief moment, she envisioned Russ’s sock drawer and shuddered. As he would undoubtedly do to hers.
If she had a sock drawer, that is.
So between that and his quick exit after seeing Abbie…
When no one said anything, she rotated her shoulders, held up her head and marched out of the room, secure in the knowledge she’d never see Russ Michaels again.
A thought she found strangely unsettling.
***
Toddlers, Meg groggily mused as Abbie’s “Get me up!” wail pierced the darkness, did not know from Saturday mornings. Unfortunately. Yawning, she shuffled through a toy-store’s worth of stuffed animals strewn on the floor of her itty-bitty apartment to get to the glorified pantry she’d turned into the cutest baby’s room ever. Standing in her crib, Abbie greeted her with outstretched arms and a huge smile, melting Meg’s heart. Even though it was still dark and the baby didn’t exactly smell like roses.
“Phew-wee, little girl,” she said, making a face. “Stin-kee!”
Abbie, naturally, thought this was hilarious. “’Tink-ee!” she said, holding her nose and waving the air while Meg quickly changed her diaper and dressed her in a clean Onesie. By this time the sky had pinked up enough to consider it morning, and the day stretched out in front of them.
Like an enormous void.
Not that Meg couldn’t think of a dozen activities to do with her daughter—the park, the zoo, hanging out with the cousins, but…
But look at this kid, she thought, smiling as she watched Abbie shovel scrambled eggs—more or less—into her mouth. Wasn’t there someone, somewhere, who’d go nuts for the chance to share this amazing kid with her?
And no, that didn’t mean she was still thinking about Russ. Because she wasn’t. Okay, maybe he’d crossed her mind once or twice. Because the more she thought about it, the more his reaction to Abbie bugged her. As though there was something more behind his reaction than a simple aversion to kids.
She sighed. Because some paths are simply not worth going down.
Meg cleaned up the eggified baby and sprang her out of her high chair; Abbie immediately toddled to the front door and pointed. “Bye-bye?” she said, just as Meg’s cell phone rang.
“Did I tell you we’re installing over at Blake House today?” her father said without preamble.
Meg smiled. Blake House had been a run-down, abandoned Queen Anne, not far from the Victorian neighborhood where she now lived. She used to dream about one day owning the old house, until a couple from New York beat her to it. Gradually they’d been restoring the old girl—and the ten acres of grounds she sat on—to its former glory to run as a small inn. Her father had been tickled to death to get the landscaping contract.
“On Saturday?”
“It’s a rush job. They got a wedding coming up, and we wouldn’t get it done in time if we waited. Anyway, you should bring the baby over. They got ducks. And peacocks. The boys are all bringing their kids, it’ll be fun.”
Another Saturday with the family, Meg thought on a sigh, then decided—it could be worse. A lot worse. So after a shared bath and a half-hour trying to find Abbie’s sandals, she tossed on a pair of shorts and a baby-doll blouse, strapped Abbie in her stroller and off they went, arriving at the old house twenty minutes later.
And what should be the first thing she saw, but Russ hauling a tray of full-grown chrysanthemums across the massive front lawn…about the same time he spotted her.
She froze, having no clue what to do next.
Although running like hell was sounding better by the second.
Forever, Actually...Chapter 2
There was no way Howie could have known, Meg reminded herself, ducking into the kitchen as her brother introduced Russ to everyone. Trish, Howie’s perky blond wife, pushed back through the swinging doors, fanning herself with one hand while carting a baby on her hip with the other.
“Geezy Pete—didja get a load of that?”
Frances, Meg’s mother, shot her daughter-in-law a puzzled look before carting out the buttered asparagus, returning before the door could swing back, her eyes big. Briana and Penny, Meg’s other sisters-in-law, exchanged a glance and followed suit, after which all eyes landed on Meg.
“Don’t say it,” she said. Wearily.
“Cuh-yute,” pregnant, pixie-haired Briana said, grinning.
Penny, who’d played basketball in college and was six inches taller than everyone else in the room, rolled her brown eyes. “Cute? Hell, we’re talkin’ seriously hot.”
“Hot,” Trish echoed, nodding.
“He looks very nice,” her mother said, and Meg laughed. Also wearily.
“Actually…I kinda already met him. At the clinic,” she added before they could find their voices.
“He’s a doctor?”
“No, Ma, he’s—”
“Franny, for heaven’s sake,” Penny said, her voice suddenly chilly. Penny had issues. Of many varieties. “If he was at the clinic, he was probably with someone. Hello?”
“Then why’s he here for dinner? Alone?”
“Ma, everybody! Chill. Russ—”
“Russ. Such a nice name.”
Meg glared at her mother. “He was there with his sister. She’s a widow who, um, decided to have a baby with her husband’s sperm.”
“Oh?” Trish said as Penny’s pale eyebrows dipped.
“That’s just so…weird. On so many levels. For one thing, how does she know that’s actually her husband’s stuff—”
“Stuff?” Briana said, giggling as she popped a sautéed mushroom into her mouth.
“Like I’m gonna say, you know, that, in front of Franny,” Penny said, and Ma said, “Thank you, sweetheart,” and Meg thought her brain would explode. But Penny wasn’t finished. Of course she wasn’t.
“There’ve been rumors for years, you know. About the clinic. That maybe there’s something fishy about their practices. All those multiples births, for one thing. And worse.” Her sister-in-law’s lips pursed. “Why you’re even working there is beyond me.”
What was beyond Meg, was how the conversation had veered from speculating about the hottie in the other room to the Armstrong Institute’s integrity. Or why she felt compelled to defend where she’d worked for exactly one day. Until she remembered the absolute joy on Nova Farris’s face.
“And they’re called rumors for a reason, Pen. Far as I can tell they care a great deal about their patients. Especially Dr. Armstrong. And it’s one of the foremost research facilities in the country for biogenetics—”
Penny made a sign of the cross and Meg sighed. At least she’d only be there two weeks. Even she could deal with Penny’s pursed lips for that long.
“Dinner’s ready,” her mother said, shooting Meg a commiserating glance before they all trooped into the dining room.
Just as she could deal with sitting at the same table with Russ for a half-hour. Never before had she been so grateful her family ate like locusts. Swoop in, devour, move on. Better yet…
“How’s about I take kid duty in the family room tonight—?”
“Hell, no,” Howie said, as they all jockeyed for seats around the dining table. And she just somehow ended up across from Russ.
She shot daggers at Howie, who just grinned. Creep.
Then the usual chaos descended, the men talking sports and business, the women talking about the kids currently wreaking havoc in the basement below. Until the discussion swerved to politics, and Meg thought, Oh, God…until she realized the man was perfectly capable of holding his own among her opinionated family members.
Impressive.
Then he deftly switched the conversation back to business, which her dad and brothers lived, ate and breathed, anyway. Good call.
Had to admit, guy was a good listener. And an even better sport, deflecting her brothers’ gibes and jabs with a grin and a shrug. Or better yet, zinging one right back at them, much to both their and her sisters-in-laws’ delight.
Then she and Russ grabbed for the last chicken leg at the same time, and she saw the “Get me outta here!” look in his eyes. Ah.
“Help me clear the table?” she asked. At the precise, and only, moment of total silence since the meal began.
“Sure thing,” he said, jumping up to gather dishes. Her own arms loaded with greasy, smeared plates, Meg pushed into the kitchen. Russ followed, dumping his load on the table as she lifted hers to the counter.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Sorry. They can be a little intense.”
Chuckling, he moved past her to start scraping the dishes, loading the dishwasher. Rearranging the stuff already in there with military precision. Even over the scent of hour-old roasted chicken, she could smell him. Soapy. Kinda woodsy. Not at all unpleasant.
As opposed to the assorted screeches and bellows echoing up the basement stairs. Trial by fire, she believed this was called. Sure enough, Russ frowned at the open door, then back at her.
“And you guys do this every week?”
“Voluntarily, even—”
The thundering of many small feet preceded a tsunami of children breaching the basement doorway. Russ flattened himself against the counter as the horde surged through the kitchen and out the back door, shrieking their heads off.
“Good God. How many are there?”
“Ten. And counting.”
Apparently recovered, Russ returned to his chore, sorting the flatware into the dishwasher basket. Honestly. “It was just my sister and me. This…”
“Insanity?”
He tossed a smile in her direction. Oh, boy. “Takes a bit of getting used to.”
“There’s an understatement,” Meg said, and their eyes met, and she thought, Oh!, before his cheeks colored and he returned his attention to the dishes. Okie-dokie—time to put the dude out of his misery.
“Look…I have to apologize.”
He looked up. Light glanced off cheekbones. Damn. “For…?”
“The fix-up attempt.” The serving fork clattered out of his hand. “You couldn’t tell?”
Russ retrieved the escaped fork. Lifted his eyes to hers. Sweet, freaked eyes which effectively canceled out the cheekbones. Sorta.
“Look, Meg, I—”
“Three brothers,” she said, moving to the sink to wash pots. “All happily married. One baby sister, divorced. Until that little dimple is ironed out, none of them can rest. Why are you laughing?”
“Because I kinda figured that’s what the invitations were all about. I just didn’t know—” another sweet, freaked glance “—you were what the invitations were all about.”
Meg wasn’t sure what to make of this. Of him. Shoot. “Except…they seem to have missed the memo that I’m not in the market.”
Brows dipped. “You’re…not.”
“Oh, Lord, no. Maybe someday, waaaay in the future. When the divorce wounds have healed a little more. But not now.”
“You’re divorced?”
“Yep,” she said, squirting dish soap into the plugged-up sink. “A year ago. Not that I don’t occasionally date—” her eyes cut to his, then back “—but just for, you know, diversion. Not looking for serious—”
“Mama! Mama!”
Her heart soaring, Meg spun around to scoop up eighteen-month-old Abbie, sudsy hands be damned, to pepper the chubby little cheeks with kisses. “How’s my baby girl?”
“That one’s yours?”
Brushing back Abigail’s out-of-control curls, Meg turned, her smile fading when she caught the look of utter terror on Russ’s face
“Geezy Pete—didja get a load of that?”
Frances, Meg’s mother, shot her daughter-in-law a puzzled look before carting out the buttered asparagus, returning before the door could swing back, her eyes big. Briana and Penny, Meg’s other sisters-in-law, exchanged a glance and followed suit, after which all eyes landed on Meg.
“Don’t say it,” she said. Wearily.
“Cuh-yute,” pregnant, pixie-haired Briana said, grinning.
Penny, who’d played basketball in college and was six inches taller than everyone else in the room, rolled her brown eyes. “Cute? Hell, we’re talkin’ seriously hot.”
“Hot,” Trish echoed, nodding.
“He looks very nice,” her mother said, and Meg laughed. Also wearily.
“Actually…I kinda already met him. At the clinic,” she added before they could find their voices.
“He’s a doctor?”
“No, Ma, he’s—”
“Franny, for heaven’s sake,” Penny said, her voice suddenly chilly. Penny had issues. Of many varieties. “If he was at the clinic, he was probably with someone. Hello?”
“Then why’s he here for dinner? Alone?”
“Ma, everybody! Chill. Russ—”
“Russ. Such a nice name.”
Meg glared at her mother. “He was there with his sister. She’s a widow who, um, decided to have a baby with her husband’s sperm.”
“Oh?” Trish said as Penny’s pale eyebrows dipped.
“That’s just so…weird. On so many levels. For one thing, how does she know that’s actually her husband’s stuff—”
“Stuff?” Briana said, giggling as she popped a sautéed mushroom into her mouth.
“Like I’m gonna say, you know, that, in front of Franny,” Penny said, and Ma said, “Thank you, sweetheart,” and Meg thought her brain would explode. But Penny wasn’t finished. Of course she wasn’t.
“There’ve been rumors for years, you know. About the clinic. That maybe there’s something fishy about their practices. All those multiples births, for one thing. And worse.” Her sister-in-law’s lips pursed. “Why you’re even working there is beyond me.”
What was beyond Meg, was how the conversation had veered from speculating about the hottie in the other room to the Armstrong Institute’s integrity. Or why she felt compelled to defend where she’d worked for exactly one day. Until she remembered the absolute joy on Nova Farris’s face.
“And they’re called rumors for a reason, Pen. Far as I can tell they care a great deal about their patients. Especially Dr. Armstrong. And it’s one of the foremost research facilities in the country for biogenetics—”
Penny made a sign of the cross and Meg sighed. At least she’d only be there two weeks. Even she could deal with Penny’s pursed lips for that long.
“Dinner’s ready,” her mother said, shooting Meg a commiserating glance before they all trooped into the dining room.
Just as she could deal with sitting at the same table with Russ for a half-hour. Never before had she been so grateful her family ate like locusts. Swoop in, devour, move on. Better yet…
“How’s about I take kid duty in the family room tonight—?”
“Hell, no,” Howie said, as they all jockeyed for seats around the dining table. And she just somehow ended up across from Russ.
She shot daggers at Howie, who just grinned. Creep.
Then the usual chaos descended, the men talking sports and business, the women talking about the kids currently wreaking havoc in the basement below. Until the discussion swerved to politics, and Meg thought, Oh, God…until she realized the man was perfectly capable of holding his own among her opinionated family members.
Impressive.
Then he deftly switched the conversation back to business, which her dad and brothers lived, ate and breathed, anyway. Good call.
Had to admit, guy was a good listener. And an even better sport, deflecting her brothers’ gibes and jabs with a grin and a shrug. Or better yet, zinging one right back at them, much to both their and her sisters-in-laws’ delight.
Then she and Russ grabbed for the last chicken leg at the same time, and she saw the “Get me outta here!” look in his eyes. Ah.
“Help me clear the table?” she asked. At the precise, and only, moment of total silence since the meal began.
“Sure thing,” he said, jumping up to gather dishes. Her own arms loaded with greasy, smeared plates, Meg pushed into the kitchen. Russ followed, dumping his load on the table as she lifted hers to the counter.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Sorry. They can be a little intense.”
Chuckling, he moved past her to start scraping the dishes, loading the dishwasher. Rearranging the stuff already in there with military precision. Even over the scent of hour-old roasted chicken, she could smell him. Soapy. Kinda woodsy. Not at all unpleasant.
As opposed to the assorted screeches and bellows echoing up the basement stairs. Trial by fire, she believed this was called. Sure enough, Russ frowned at the open door, then back at her.
“And you guys do this every week?”
“Voluntarily, even—”
The thundering of many small feet preceded a tsunami of children breaching the basement doorway. Russ flattened himself against the counter as the horde surged through the kitchen and out the back door, shrieking their heads off.
“Good God. How many are there?”
“Ten. And counting.”
Apparently recovered, Russ returned to his chore, sorting the flatware into the dishwasher basket. Honestly. “It was just my sister and me. This…”
“Insanity?”
He tossed a smile in her direction. Oh, boy. “Takes a bit of getting used to.”
“There’s an understatement,” Meg said, and their eyes met, and she thought, Oh!, before his cheeks colored and he returned his attention to the dishes. Okie-dokie—time to put the dude out of his misery.
“Look…I have to apologize.”
He looked up. Light glanced off cheekbones. Damn. “For…?”
“The fix-up attempt.” The serving fork clattered out of his hand. “You couldn’t tell?”
Russ retrieved the escaped fork. Lifted his eyes to hers. Sweet, freaked eyes which effectively canceled out the cheekbones. Sorta.
“Look, Meg, I—”
“Three brothers,” she said, moving to the sink to wash pots. “All happily married. One baby sister, divorced. Until that little dimple is ironed out, none of them can rest. Why are you laughing?”
“Because I kinda figured that’s what the invitations were all about. I just didn’t know—” another sweet, freaked glance “—you were what the invitations were all about.”
Meg wasn’t sure what to make of this. Of him. Shoot. “Except…they seem to have missed the memo that I’m not in the market.”
Brows dipped. “You’re…not.”
“Oh, Lord, no. Maybe someday, waaaay in the future. When the divorce wounds have healed a little more. But not now.”
“You’re divorced?”
“Yep,” she said, squirting dish soap into the plugged-up sink. “A year ago. Not that I don’t occasionally date—” her eyes cut to his, then back “—but just for, you know, diversion. Not looking for serious—”
“Mama! Mama!”
Her heart soaring, Meg spun around to scoop up eighteen-month-old Abbie, sudsy hands be damned, to pepper the chubby little cheeks with kisses. “How’s my baby girl?”
“That one’s yours?”
Brushing back Abigail’s out-of-control curls, Meg turned, her smile fading when she caught the look of utter terror on Russ’s face
Forever, Actually...Chapter 1
Another new fic coming up and is called Forever, Actually..
Hope everyone enjoy it..
Generally speaking, Megan Carter did not ogle married men—unless, say, the married man was some celebrity hunk she’d in all likelihood never see in the flesh—but her eyeballs latched right on to the glowering, golden-haired hottie following his wife and Dr. Armstrong out of the elevator. And wouldn’t let go.
“You can make another appointment in ten days or so, Mrs. Farris,” the tall, slender doctor—who was no slouch himself—said, smiling. “For your first sonogram.”
“Ohmigosh…thank you!” the brunette said, hugging the startled doctor, her sky-blue sundress glowing against the übermodern, steel-and neutrals décor. “Thank you so much! Oh, come on, Russ—” She grabbed Golden Boy’s hand to tug him toward the reception desk. And closer to Meg, who clamped shut her mouth to hold in the drool. “You know this is what Tommy wanted. You were there when we made the decision!”
“Nova…I’m trying, I really am. But—”
“I’ll be fine, Russ. We’ll be fine.” Nova slid Meg a long-suffering look. “You have brothers?”
Wait. Meg was hanging on to her saliva for someone’s brother? A brother who was not, she noted, sporting a wedding band of his own. Huh.
“Three,” Meg said, trying not to notice the siblings had the same bright blue eyes. And thick, dark lashes. That the male sibling looked better in his golf shirt and Dockers than most men looked in a tux. That his expression of brooding protectiveness was making her squirm a little in her seat. She forced her gaze back to Nova. “All older.”
“Ouch,” Nova said, smiling, and Meg laughed. Until the other woman palmed her tummy and said softly, “My husband and I had wanted a batch of kids. Then we found out he had cancer. So he…made a deposit before the chemo. Except…” She looked at Meg again, gave a tiny shrug. “Hence the backup plan. Some people, however, are having issues with my decision.”
Honestly. Barely two hours into her temp stint at Boston’s Armstrong Fertility Institute, and already three people had shared what Meg considered way too much personal information about their reasons for using the clinic’s services. It was like living out an episode of one of her grandmother’s soaps. Except something about this one…
“Well, I think you’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met,” she said, daring to meet Russ’s gaze.
Big mistake. Because that glower? Too darn cute for words. Which made Meg’s tummy go flippity-flop. Oops.
“So,” she said brightly, her curls sticking to the back of her neck when she turned to the computer. Hmm. Air-conditioning must be on the fritz. “How’s…a week from this coming Monday?”
“Great!”
Meg printed out the appointment confirmation and handed it to Nova, giving her a full-out, all-dimples-on-deck smile. “Congratulations, by the way. I can tell you’re gonna be a terrific mom.”
Nova beamed. “Thanks,” she said softly, tucking the paper into her purse before turning to her brother with another big smile. Still glowering, Golden Boy led her to the exit, his hand hovering at her back, basically treating her like spun glass.
Meg allowed herself a long, dreamy sigh.
***
“Russ!”
Startled out of his musings, Russ Michaels turned to his sister as they walked in the blistering, late-August heat to their cars, parked in front of the Coach House Diner not far from the Institute. “I’m sorry…were you saying something?”
Nova lightly smacked his arm, then grinned. “I guess I have been running off at the mouth today. And I know you don’t share my enthusiasm—”
“Nove, I’m happy for you, I really am. It’s just—”
That I can’t remember the last time a woman’s smile made me feel like I’d been sucker punched.
“You’re worried about me,” his sister said softly, giving his wrist a quick squeeze. “I know. But it’s not as if I haven’t thought this through. Or that I can’t afford help after the baby comes. Tommy made sure of that. And heaven knows he or she is going to have the world’s greatest uncle.” When Russ felt his jaw tighten, Nova cocked her head. “I’ve got to move on, Russ. Embrace whatever life has in store for me. It’s what Tommy would have wanted—”
“I really need to get back—got a client coming in at one. A big one. Don’t want to be late.”
A mixture of annoyance and understanding swimming in her eyes, Nova leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “Tommy would be thrilled with how well you’re handling the business. And you seem…” Her eyes narrowed as she apparently considered her words. “Content enough.”
“I am. See you later?”
“Oh! Sorry, no—I teach night school tonight, remember? Maybe tomorrow?”
“Sure thing. Call me.”
Russ watched until his sister drove off, giving him a little wave as she pulled into traffic, before he got into the company truck, all tricked out with the Farris Nursery logo on the side. Nova had already told him she was okay if he wanted to change it to his name, but it was Tommy’s name people knew and trusted, so why mess with what worked?
Was he content? One wrist resting atop the steering wheel, Russ sighed. With running his brother-in-law’s garden center and nursery after way too many years of crunching numbers for an insurance company? Yeah, he supposed he was. God knows, a year ago he’d never imagined he’d get off on all things horticultural, but when Tommy’d asked Russ if he’d be interested in taking over the business so Nova could keep teaching, Russ was surprised by how much the idea had appealed. Despite plants being far harder to control than numbers.
But with the rest of his life? Not so much, to be honest. Not that he’d changed his mind about preferring to go it alone. With relationships came complications. Pain. Heartache. Those, he could do without. However, being alone and being lonely were two entirely different things.
Definitely a new wrinkle he hadn’t expected.
Just as he hadn’t expected to be shaken up by a bubbly little redhead in a frilly pink blouse that looked totally out of place in the Institute’s austere surroundings. A bubbly little redhead whose sparkling brown eyes and curved mouth seemed to say, “Just say the word, and I’ll let you in on the joke.” Whatever the joke was.
Life itself, probably, Russ thought as he pulled up in front of the nursery. A stocky, balding guy with a bright grin approached him the minute he stepped inside. Howie Carter was the middle of three brothers, who with their father owned a fair-sized landscaping business. When their primary vendor went under a month or so back, leaving them in the lurch, they turned to Farris. And Russ had no intention of losing them…even if it meant constantly fending off thinly veiled attempts at fixing him up with their unmarried sister.
“Howie, good to see ya,” Russ said, clapping the guy’s hand. “You find everything okay?”
“Yeah, I already scoped out the stock, gave the girl our order. Kinda late in the season for planting, but you gotta make the client happy, right? You can get everything over to the Blake estate by first thing Saturday morning?”
“No problem. I’ll make the delivery myself if I have to.”
“Hey—you free for dinner tonight? Because I know Ma would love to have you.”
Russ had to smile. “You don’t give up, do you?”
“It’s the Irish in me. Stubborn as hell. Although I hafta warn ya, we’ll all be there. Thursday-night ritual. Ma cooks, we eat. So whaddya say?”
What Russ said, for reasons he couldn’t begin to fathom, was, “Sure. Why not?”
Chuckling, Howie slapped Russ’s back, then scribbled the address on the back of his business card and handed it over. “Don’t dress up, nobody else does. See you at six-thirty!”
At 6:28, Russ arrived at the tidy little colonial in North Cambridge. At 6:29, he nearly choked when a certain bubbly little redhead in a frilly pink blouse opened the door, looking every bit as shocked as he felt.
Hope everyone enjoy it..
Generally speaking, Megan Carter did not ogle married men—unless, say, the married man was some celebrity hunk she’d in all likelihood never see in the flesh—but her eyeballs latched right on to the glowering, golden-haired hottie following his wife and Dr. Armstrong out of the elevator. And wouldn’t let go.
“You can make another appointment in ten days or so, Mrs. Farris,” the tall, slender doctor—who was no slouch himself—said, smiling. “For your first sonogram.”
“Ohmigosh…thank you!” the brunette said, hugging the startled doctor, her sky-blue sundress glowing against the übermodern, steel-and neutrals décor. “Thank you so much! Oh, come on, Russ—” She grabbed Golden Boy’s hand to tug him toward the reception desk. And closer to Meg, who clamped shut her mouth to hold in the drool. “You know this is what Tommy wanted. You were there when we made the decision!”
“Nova…I’m trying, I really am. But—”
“I’ll be fine, Russ. We’ll be fine.” Nova slid Meg a long-suffering look. “You have brothers?”
Wait. Meg was hanging on to her saliva for someone’s brother? A brother who was not, she noted, sporting a wedding band of his own. Huh.
“Three,” Meg said, trying not to notice the siblings had the same bright blue eyes. And thick, dark lashes. That the male sibling looked better in his golf shirt and Dockers than most men looked in a tux. That his expression of brooding protectiveness was making her squirm a little in her seat. She forced her gaze back to Nova. “All older.”
“Ouch,” Nova said, smiling, and Meg laughed. Until the other woman palmed her tummy and said softly, “My husband and I had wanted a batch of kids. Then we found out he had cancer. So he…made a deposit before the chemo. Except…” She looked at Meg again, gave a tiny shrug. “Hence the backup plan. Some people, however, are having issues with my decision.”
Honestly. Barely two hours into her temp stint at Boston’s Armstrong Fertility Institute, and already three people had shared what Meg considered way too much personal information about their reasons for using the clinic’s services. It was like living out an episode of one of her grandmother’s soaps. Except something about this one…
“Well, I think you’re one of the bravest people I’ve ever met,” she said, daring to meet Russ’s gaze.
Big mistake. Because that glower? Too darn cute for words. Which made Meg’s tummy go flippity-flop. Oops.
“So,” she said brightly, her curls sticking to the back of her neck when she turned to the computer. Hmm. Air-conditioning must be on the fritz. “How’s…a week from this coming Monday?”
“Great!”
Meg printed out the appointment confirmation and handed it to Nova, giving her a full-out, all-dimples-on-deck smile. “Congratulations, by the way. I can tell you’re gonna be a terrific mom.”
Nova beamed. “Thanks,” she said softly, tucking the paper into her purse before turning to her brother with another big smile. Still glowering, Golden Boy led her to the exit, his hand hovering at her back, basically treating her like spun glass.
Meg allowed herself a long, dreamy sigh.
***
“Russ!”
Startled out of his musings, Russ Michaels turned to his sister as they walked in the blistering, late-August heat to their cars, parked in front of the Coach House Diner not far from the Institute. “I’m sorry…were you saying something?”
Nova lightly smacked his arm, then grinned. “I guess I have been running off at the mouth today. And I know you don’t share my enthusiasm—”
“Nove, I’m happy for you, I really am. It’s just—”
That I can’t remember the last time a woman’s smile made me feel like I’d been sucker punched.
“You’re worried about me,” his sister said softly, giving his wrist a quick squeeze. “I know. But it’s not as if I haven’t thought this through. Or that I can’t afford help after the baby comes. Tommy made sure of that. And heaven knows he or she is going to have the world’s greatest uncle.” When Russ felt his jaw tighten, Nova cocked her head. “I’ve got to move on, Russ. Embrace whatever life has in store for me. It’s what Tommy would have wanted—”
“I really need to get back—got a client coming in at one. A big one. Don’t want to be late.”
A mixture of annoyance and understanding swimming in her eyes, Nova leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “Tommy would be thrilled with how well you’re handling the business. And you seem…” Her eyes narrowed as she apparently considered her words. “Content enough.”
“I am. See you later?”
“Oh! Sorry, no—I teach night school tonight, remember? Maybe tomorrow?”
“Sure thing. Call me.”
Russ watched until his sister drove off, giving him a little wave as she pulled into traffic, before he got into the company truck, all tricked out with the Farris Nursery logo on the side. Nova had already told him she was okay if he wanted to change it to his name, but it was Tommy’s name people knew and trusted, so why mess with what worked?
Was he content? One wrist resting atop the steering wheel, Russ sighed. With running his brother-in-law’s garden center and nursery after way too many years of crunching numbers for an insurance company? Yeah, he supposed he was. God knows, a year ago he’d never imagined he’d get off on all things horticultural, but when Tommy’d asked Russ if he’d be interested in taking over the business so Nova could keep teaching, Russ was surprised by how much the idea had appealed. Despite plants being far harder to control than numbers.
But with the rest of his life? Not so much, to be honest. Not that he’d changed his mind about preferring to go it alone. With relationships came complications. Pain. Heartache. Those, he could do without. However, being alone and being lonely were two entirely different things.
Definitely a new wrinkle he hadn’t expected.
Just as he hadn’t expected to be shaken up by a bubbly little redhead in a frilly pink blouse that looked totally out of place in the Institute’s austere surroundings. A bubbly little redhead whose sparkling brown eyes and curved mouth seemed to say, “Just say the word, and I’ll let you in on the joke.” Whatever the joke was.
Life itself, probably, Russ thought as he pulled up in front of the nursery. A stocky, balding guy with a bright grin approached him the minute he stepped inside. Howie Carter was the middle of three brothers, who with their father owned a fair-sized landscaping business. When their primary vendor went under a month or so back, leaving them in the lurch, they turned to Farris. And Russ had no intention of losing them…even if it meant constantly fending off thinly veiled attempts at fixing him up with their unmarried sister.
“Howie, good to see ya,” Russ said, clapping the guy’s hand. “You find everything okay?”
“Yeah, I already scoped out the stock, gave the girl our order. Kinda late in the season for planting, but you gotta make the client happy, right? You can get everything over to the Blake estate by first thing Saturday morning?”
“No problem. I’ll make the delivery myself if I have to.”
“Hey—you free for dinner tonight? Because I know Ma would love to have you.”
Russ had to smile. “You don’t give up, do you?”
“It’s the Irish in me. Stubborn as hell. Although I hafta warn ya, we’ll all be there. Thursday-night ritual. Ma cooks, we eat. So whaddya say?”
What Russ said, for reasons he couldn’t begin to fathom, was, “Sure. Why not?”
Chuckling, Howie slapped Russ’s back, then scribbled the address on the back of his business card and handed it over. “Don’t dress up, nobody else does. See you at six-thirty!”
At 6:28, Russ arrived at the tidy little colonial in North Cambridge. At 6:29, he nearly choked when a certain bubbly little redhead in a frilly pink blouse opened the door, looking every bit as shocked as he felt.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
EmPtY.........
Feeling so hurt, so lost and alone
Feelings left on the floor in pieces
Shattered Dreams, now I’m on my own
Won’t be long til my heart increases
Empty….is what I am without you
Empty….forever now without you
My Minds restless, my mind spinning around
Never thought I’d see the day, you’d walk away
Leaving my heart in pieces all over the ground
I know I will never be the same, never be okay
Empty….is what I am without you
Empty….forever now without you
I feel my soul dying, soon the tears will fall
Down my face like falling rain, pouring rain
Cries so loud, Angels will hear there call
For so many years from a broken heart in pain
Empty….is what I am without you
Empty….forever now without you
Feelings left on the floor in pieces
Shattered Dreams, now I’m on my own
Won’t be long til my heart increases
Empty….is what I am without you
Empty….forever now without you
My Minds restless, my mind spinning around
Never thought I’d see the day, you’d walk away
Leaving my heart in pieces all over the ground
I know I will never be the same, never be okay
Empty….is what I am without you
Empty….forever now without you
I feel my soul dying, soon the tears will fall
Down my face like falling rain, pouring rain
Cries so loud, Angels will hear there call
For so many years from a broken heart in pain
Empty….is what I am without you
Empty….forever now without you
^^A LOVE LetteR to My Love^^
Greetings, in the most
romantic name of our love...
I want to inform you that I send great pleasure
To the ONE I LOVE.
Adrian, you hold a very
special place in my heart,
That no one else could ever hold.
I love you more than life itself.
I'm so crazy over you.
If you should break this love I have for you,
All the stars will fall from the sky,
And the mountains will fall into the sea.
There are so many things I love about you.
Without you in my life, my life has no aim,
Meaning or destiny
You are the love of my life.
I will always adore your charms.
I could never hurt you
I could never lie to you,
or give you a reason to cry,
Because whenever you cry, I cry, too.
These words are coming from
the bottom of my heart.
I see your face every night before I go to sleep.
If I forget a love that's so true
All the angels in heaven will forget me, too.
For my love for you everlastingly
Meaning no good-bye
romantic name of our love...
I want to inform you that I send great pleasure
To the ONE I LOVE.
Adrian, you hold a very
special place in my heart,
That no one else could ever hold.
I love you more than life itself.
I'm so crazy over you.
If you should break this love I have for you,
All the stars will fall from the sky,
And the mountains will fall into the sea.
There are so many things I love about you.
Without you in my life, my life has no aim,
Meaning or destiny
You are the love of my life.
I will always adore your charms.
I could never hurt you
I could never lie to you,
or give you a reason to cry,
Because whenever you cry, I cry, too.
These words are coming from
the bottom of my heart.
I see your face every night before I go to sleep.
If I forget a love that's so true
All the angels in heaven will forget me, too.
For my love for you everlastingly
Meaning no good-bye
**My HeaRt**
Beat by beat, my heart goes on for you
Like it always has since we met
Stronger and stronger with a love so true
For an angel it could never forget
It bears the scares of so many years
I’ve spent away from you, away from home
From all the loneliness, sorrow and tears
And all the time is was left to roam
Feelings buried so deep down inside
Out of harms way, out if sight
It would be the price it paid for pride
But I always knew I would lose the fight
My soul was too strong; even for time
It wouldn’t stop its search for you
No matter how hard, no matter the climb
It always looked for a way back to you
Like it always has since we met
Stronger and stronger with a love so true
For an angel it could never forget
It bears the scares of so many years
I’ve spent away from you, away from home
From all the loneliness, sorrow and tears
And all the time is was left to roam
Feelings buried so deep down inside
Out of harms way, out if sight
It would be the price it paid for pride
But I always knew I would lose the fight
My soul was too strong; even for time
It wouldn’t stop its search for you
No matter how hard, no matter the climb
It always looked for a way back to you
^^HeaRtSonG^^
When you look in my eyes, tell me what you see
Is the hope you been searching somewhere inside
Do you see home, a place you’ve longed to be
Where you know that you’d never be left outside
It’s my heart song that’s for you
It’s my heart song that beats for you
Can you feel the emotions run through my soul
And the strength it holds for those dark days
It’ll lift you up, heal all wounds and make you whole
Your heart will feel love in so many ways
It’s my heart song that’s for you
It’s my heart song that beats for you
Can you hear the way my heart calls for you
It’s like sirens that wail across the night skies
It calls your name just to make it through
Another lonely night to look deep into you eyes
It’s my heart song that’s for you
It’s my heart song that beats for you
When my spirit soars and takes flight
Do you see it, feel it coming over you
With all its warmth and shinning light
And every feeling it holds so true
It’s my heart song that’s for you
It’s a song that was always meant to be
Is the hope you been searching somewhere inside
Do you see home, a place you’ve longed to be
Where you know that you’d never be left outside
It’s my heart song that’s for you
It’s my heart song that beats for you
Can you feel the emotions run through my soul
And the strength it holds for those dark days
It’ll lift you up, heal all wounds and make you whole
Your heart will feel love in so many ways
It’s my heart song that’s for you
It’s my heart song that beats for you
Can you hear the way my heart calls for you
It’s like sirens that wail across the night skies
It calls your name just to make it through
Another lonely night to look deep into you eyes
It’s my heart song that’s for you
It’s my heart song that beats for you
When my spirit soars and takes flight
Do you see it, feel it coming over you
With all its warmth and shinning light
And every feeling it holds so true
It’s my heart song that’s for you
It’s a song that was always meant to be
MeRRy ChRistMaS & HaPPy NEW YeaR !!!!!
Where did the year go? Suddenly it is December...... A
again - and we realize that with giant strides we started in January and within a blink of an eye, 2009 is on its back!
A big "Thank You" , all for the huge impact you had on my life this year. Especially for all the support and e-mails I received.......
without you, I ' m sure that 2009 would have been extremely boring...
I wish you a magical Festive Season filled with Loving Wishes and Beautiful Thoughts.
May 2010 BE FILLED WITH JOY AND PROSPERITY
Should you be travelling during this time.....please take care!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Seducing the Vampire-chapter 8
He could not dematerialize to find her. For the first time, Indigo cursed living as a Draicon.
Raphael regarded him with his knowing gaze. “What are you waiting for?”
“I can’t dematerialize.”
“You’re part vampire. Close your eyes and remember.”
As he did, he reached inside to the vampire he’d long denied. He remembered his fangs piercing Avril’s tender skin, his mouth tenderly nuzzling her as he took her blood into himself. The life he’d denied himself kicked in like an engine roaring to life. Indigo filled his mind and heart with Avril, allowing his vampire to surface.
His molecules began to scramble, his body spun through the air.
On his next breath, he was somewhere else, senses screeching on overload. He detected the scent of fresh water, the breeze caressing his cheeks.
Indigo got his bearings. Jackson Square, near the Moon Walk. Silvery moonlight dappled the leaves on the trees. Indigo breathed in his surroundings and scented Avril, along with something nasty. Damn, hadn’t been around that in a long time. Didn’t make sense. Victor was a pureblood, but this vampire was not.
No time to analyze DNA. Breath puffing out in the cool air, Indigo ran toward the river.
He ground to a halt as he reached the Moon Walk. Two figures stood silhouetted by moonlight
Victor and Avril. The vampire held Avril by her wrist as he tried to grab the Anastasia charm.
All Indigo’s protective instincts surfaced in a roar. As he charged forward, Avril vanished. Victor looked startled, then she appeared behind him and kicked the back of his knees.
Indigo sped to Avril’s side as his half brother fell. Victor struggled to his feet. Hatred etched his features as he saw Indigo. “Get away from her, half-breed. You’re not good enough for her. I’d have thought the Morph would have killed you.”
Shocked, Indigo stepped in front of Avril to shield her. “You sent that thing?”
“It sent itself. The Morph was part of me.” Victor laughed.
It made sense now. “He’s Changling, Indigo. I wondered why that Morph had a familiar scent, Victor’s scent. But I couldn’t tell for sure until I fed from a full-blooded vampire,” Avril told him.
Victor laughed. “I found and killed my father, that bastard who dared to defile my mother. Just the thing I needed for my Draicon half to turn Morph. I literally divided myself, and now I’m fully vampire. I sent my Morph self after you, Indigo, for a nice little meal.”
“You fool,” Indigo said softly. “You thought you did. You only cloned yourself, Victor. The Draicon inside you, the evil now, is still inside you. It’s still there. You can never get rid of it. I should know…I tried for years to abandon my vampire half.”
“You sent that thing after Indigo. It nearly choked me,” Avril cried out.
“No, I’d never hurt you, Avril. Morphs never attack vampires. They have a natural fear of us,” Victor protested.
Rage burned through Indigo. “The Morph attacked Avril. Did you ever consider that that Morph would hurt her to get me riled? If you’re so damn intent on wiping me off the planet, then let’s have it, but leave her out of it.”
Indigo waved his hands, shedding his clothing and then shifting. Wolf senses took in the dank river water, the scent of Avril’s fury like hot plastic, and felt the cool breeze ruffle his fur.
With a snarl, he charged Victor. As he did, he saw the short spike the vampire whipped out from his pocket
He was barreling straight toward it.
Pure instinct took over. Indigo summoned all his Changling powers. As his wolf leaped, he shape-shifted into vampire. He dematerialized and appeared behind Victor.
It took a few seconds for his brain cells to stop spinning from the double-shifting. He waved a hand to clothe himself. After all these years wanting only to be Draicon, he finally accepted facts.
He was Changling—vampire and Draicon. It was about time he embraced his full powers. No more living on the fence.
Victor whirled. Indigo lunged forward and twisted Victor’s wrist, forcing him to drop the stake.
“It works on vampires, you ass, but not on a Changling,” Indigo taunted. “Only one thing can kill us. A silver dagger.”
“I know,” Avril said softly. “That’s why I brought one.”
Indigo stared at the dagger in his lover’s hands, then glanced at her hardened expression.
She dematerialized and appeared before Victor. The dagger sank partly into his chest, the silver immobilizing him.
His half brother cried out in pain and fell backward. Avril straddled him and sank the dagger in a little deeper.
“Avril, don’t do this,” Victor pleaded.
“You should die for how you ruined Indigo’s life.”
“Our mother always admired him because he was honest about his origins. When she returned to the clan with me, I was just a child. She was going to tell everyone who my real father was. I begged her to lie. I couldn’t face life as a half-breed among vampires. She agreed, because she’d seen how the others had treated you, Indigo. So we said my father was a vampire. A close friend of hers from New Orleans even agreed to lie for her and pretend to be my father. He was madly in love with her, but he wasn’t my father.” Victor looked ashamed.
The male sucked in a breath. “Please, Avril. I only wanted to use the Anastasia charm to wish you into loving me. I never truly wanted all Draicon to die.”
“Because you’d wish yourself into oblivion,” Indigo pointed out. “You’re a Changling. That’s why you wanted me gone. You knew I sensed it, because we are the same.”
“No, Indigo. He can never be like you,” Avril protested. “You’re honest and caring and unselfish. You never hid what you were. He doesn’t deserve to live.”
Fear etched Victor’s expression as the knife point sank a little deeper.
“Avril!” Indigo stared at the half brother whom had caused him so much misery. “Let me do it. I won’t have his blood on your hands.”
Avril’s gaze never left Victor, her breath easing out in a choking sob. “He’ll always be after you. It will never end.”
The knife point sank deeper. Edges of the wound wept crimson in the splash of moonlight. Her face twisted with anguish. He knew the kind of gut-wrenching confusion she felt.
The urge to destroy evaporated like mist beneath the New Orleans sun. Suddenly all he wanted was for the one he loved. Avril would never feel the guilt of his brother’s blood on her hands.
Only one wish. “Get off him and let me have the charm, Avril,” he told her.
Avril complied and tossed aside the dagger. As Victor struggled to his feet, she handed Indigo the amulet. “What are you doing?”
“Making a wish.” He clasped the charm. “I wish the Morph evil gone from my brother, Victor Devereux, so he will feel at peace and become what is closest to his heart and to end his torment of being a half-breed.”
Suddenly an ugly, foul cloud arose from the center of his brother’s chest. Avril gasped as the cloud rose into the air, and then evaporated.
A scream tore from Victor’s throat. It turned into a howl. In place of Victor was a large gray wolf.
“Go, my brother. Find your peace,” Indigo murmured.
The wolf regarded Avril with sad, yellow eyes, then loped toward the railroad tracks. They watched as he followed the tracks and disappeared from sight.
In his hands, the Anastasia charm glowed blue. Indigo glanced at his lover. “If I had one more wish, it would be for you, chère. I’d wish for you, with all my heart, nothing but happiness, love and peace, wherever you will find it, with whomever could provide it.”
Tears shimmered in Avril’s large violet eyes. “You’d do that for me?”
He unfurled her fingers and gently placed the charm into her hand. “I love you, Avril. I want you to be happy. I’m not Victor, wishing to force you into a life you never wanted.”
“I can be happy if you return with me,” she cried out.
“Can you? I once tried to straddle both worlds, vampire and Draicon. I can’t anymore, chère. I’m Changling, not vampire.” Gently he brushed a tear sliding down her cheek. “You said you could only live in your world.”
She squeezed the amulet. “I have to go. Father needs this. Thank you for setting Victor free. I think he’s at peace, finally.”
Avril kissed him, the taste of her like salted honey. “I’ll love you forever.”
A faint shimmering filled the air as she dematerialized. For a long while he sat on the Moon Walk, the ache in his chest like a steel stake buried there.
Avril would be happy.
He wrapped his arms around himself, rocking back and forth to ease the haunting grief swelling his chest.
***
In the week since she’d left Indigo, Avril felt like her soul had faded to nothingness.
No longer shunned, she was now the clan’s heroine. Those who once refused to look at her thanked her for protecting their precious charm.
Avril had told them that Victor had been Changling, and Indigo used the charm to set free his brother. The clan shrugged it off. They refused to give Indigo credit, while at the same time they excused the fact that her blood had been ritually “cleansed” for 100 years by Victor, member of the very same race.
It made no sense.
Now sitting on her bed, she palmed the Anastasia charm. Xavier had given it to her to make one wish. The charm’s blue glow spilled over the champagne-colored gown hanging on the door. Tonight her family held a ball in her honor.
No beer and crayfish for these vampires. Strictly black tie all the way. Avril glanced at her ordinary jeans and plain T-shirt. No, she didn’t fit in anymore, it seemed.
She couldn’t imagine leaving her life. But was this a life when every waking moment was empty?
If she chose to be with Indigo, the clan would banish her. Unlike Indigo, she was vampire and could live as nothing else. Yet without him, this life felt stale.
She stared at the stone. Indigo’s words came back to her. You always follow the rules, chère. For once, follow your heart.
It was about time to make a wish. She went to find her parents.
Her father protested, but understanding flickered in her mother’s eyes. “Do what you must, honey,” she said. “Follow your heart.”
Afterward, she returned to her room. She made a wish. The stone fell from her outstretched fingers as a tingling shot through her.
Seconds later, she stood inside a dimly lit bar.
A woman screamed. Avril ignored her. Her gaze centered on the tall, muscled male in the tight black T-shirt sitting alone at the counter. A beer sat before him. The taut edges of his profile were exposed to her. Lines of strains clearly showed.
Never had she seen Indigo more distressed.
A Draicon standing behind the counter glanced up. Gabriel’s handsome face creased into a broad smile. “Hey, it’s the pretty batgirl,” he called out.
She smiled back.
“I swear she wasn’t standing there a minute ago! I’m not drunk,” the woman shrieked.
“Yes, you are,” Gabriel asserted. He stroked his temple. The woman’s gaze went blank, then she resumed talking as if nothing happened.
As Avril approached, Gabriel gave Indigo a nudge. Shock dawned in her lover’s beautiful brown eyes.
“You can’t be real,” he murmured. “I wished you were here. But some wishes don’t come true.”
She took his troubled face into her hands. “Mine did.”
Indigo pulled her in between his opened thighs, cradling her tight against his body. His possessive kiss inflamed her with passion. He kept kissing her mouth, her cheeks, kissing away her tears. Indigo leaned his forehead against hers.
“You sure this is for you, Avril? A life with me and not your family?”
Never had she been more certain. “The Anastasia charm is never wrong. All I wished for was to be with my heart’s desire. It led me straight to you.”
The joy on his face, and the secure feeling of being in his arms, filled her completely. “I’m truly home now, and here I’ll stay.”
THE END
Raphael regarded him with his knowing gaze. “What are you waiting for?”
“I can’t dematerialize.”
“You’re part vampire. Close your eyes and remember.”
As he did, he reached inside to the vampire he’d long denied. He remembered his fangs piercing Avril’s tender skin, his mouth tenderly nuzzling her as he took her blood into himself. The life he’d denied himself kicked in like an engine roaring to life. Indigo filled his mind and heart with Avril, allowing his vampire to surface.
His molecules began to scramble, his body spun through the air.
On his next breath, he was somewhere else, senses screeching on overload. He detected the scent of fresh water, the breeze caressing his cheeks.
Indigo got his bearings. Jackson Square, near the Moon Walk. Silvery moonlight dappled the leaves on the trees. Indigo breathed in his surroundings and scented Avril, along with something nasty. Damn, hadn’t been around that in a long time. Didn’t make sense. Victor was a pureblood, but this vampire was not.
No time to analyze DNA. Breath puffing out in the cool air, Indigo ran toward the river.
He ground to a halt as he reached the Moon Walk. Two figures stood silhouetted by moonlight
Victor and Avril. The vampire held Avril by her wrist as he tried to grab the Anastasia charm.
All Indigo’s protective instincts surfaced in a roar. As he charged forward, Avril vanished. Victor looked startled, then she appeared behind him and kicked the back of his knees.
Indigo sped to Avril’s side as his half brother fell. Victor struggled to his feet. Hatred etched his features as he saw Indigo. “Get away from her, half-breed. You’re not good enough for her. I’d have thought the Morph would have killed you.”
Shocked, Indigo stepped in front of Avril to shield her. “You sent that thing?”
“It sent itself. The Morph was part of me.” Victor laughed.
It made sense now. “He’s Changling, Indigo. I wondered why that Morph had a familiar scent, Victor’s scent. But I couldn’t tell for sure until I fed from a full-blooded vampire,” Avril told him.
Victor laughed. “I found and killed my father, that bastard who dared to defile my mother. Just the thing I needed for my Draicon half to turn Morph. I literally divided myself, and now I’m fully vampire. I sent my Morph self after you, Indigo, for a nice little meal.”
“You fool,” Indigo said softly. “You thought you did. You only cloned yourself, Victor. The Draicon inside you, the evil now, is still inside you. It’s still there. You can never get rid of it. I should know…I tried for years to abandon my vampire half.”
“You sent that thing after Indigo. It nearly choked me,” Avril cried out.
“No, I’d never hurt you, Avril. Morphs never attack vampires. They have a natural fear of us,” Victor protested.
Rage burned through Indigo. “The Morph attacked Avril. Did you ever consider that that Morph would hurt her to get me riled? If you’re so damn intent on wiping me off the planet, then let’s have it, but leave her out of it.”
Indigo waved his hands, shedding his clothing and then shifting. Wolf senses took in the dank river water, the scent of Avril’s fury like hot plastic, and felt the cool breeze ruffle his fur.
With a snarl, he charged Victor. As he did, he saw the short spike the vampire whipped out from his pocket
He was barreling straight toward it.
Pure instinct took over. Indigo summoned all his Changling powers. As his wolf leaped, he shape-shifted into vampire. He dematerialized and appeared behind Victor.
It took a few seconds for his brain cells to stop spinning from the double-shifting. He waved a hand to clothe himself. After all these years wanting only to be Draicon, he finally accepted facts.
He was Changling—vampire and Draicon. It was about time he embraced his full powers. No more living on the fence.
Victor whirled. Indigo lunged forward and twisted Victor’s wrist, forcing him to drop the stake.
“It works on vampires, you ass, but not on a Changling,” Indigo taunted. “Only one thing can kill us. A silver dagger.”
“I know,” Avril said softly. “That’s why I brought one.”
Indigo stared at the dagger in his lover’s hands, then glanced at her hardened expression.
She dematerialized and appeared before Victor. The dagger sank partly into his chest, the silver immobilizing him.
His half brother cried out in pain and fell backward. Avril straddled him and sank the dagger in a little deeper.
“Avril, don’t do this,” Victor pleaded.
“You should die for how you ruined Indigo’s life.”
“Our mother always admired him because he was honest about his origins. When she returned to the clan with me, I was just a child. She was going to tell everyone who my real father was. I begged her to lie. I couldn’t face life as a half-breed among vampires. She agreed, because she’d seen how the others had treated you, Indigo. So we said my father was a vampire. A close friend of hers from New Orleans even agreed to lie for her and pretend to be my father. He was madly in love with her, but he wasn’t my father.” Victor looked ashamed.
The male sucked in a breath. “Please, Avril. I only wanted to use the Anastasia charm to wish you into loving me. I never truly wanted all Draicon to die.”
“Because you’d wish yourself into oblivion,” Indigo pointed out. “You’re a Changling. That’s why you wanted me gone. You knew I sensed it, because we are the same.”
“No, Indigo. He can never be like you,” Avril protested. “You’re honest and caring and unselfish. You never hid what you were. He doesn’t deserve to live.”
Fear etched Victor’s expression as the knife point sank a little deeper.
“Avril!” Indigo stared at the half brother whom had caused him so much misery. “Let me do it. I won’t have his blood on your hands.”
Avril’s gaze never left Victor, her breath easing out in a choking sob. “He’ll always be after you. It will never end.”
The knife point sank deeper. Edges of the wound wept crimson in the splash of moonlight. Her face twisted with anguish. He knew the kind of gut-wrenching confusion she felt.
The urge to destroy evaporated like mist beneath the New Orleans sun. Suddenly all he wanted was for the one he loved. Avril would never feel the guilt of his brother’s blood on her hands.
Only one wish. “Get off him and let me have the charm, Avril,” he told her.
Avril complied and tossed aside the dagger. As Victor struggled to his feet, she handed Indigo the amulet. “What are you doing?”
“Making a wish.” He clasped the charm. “I wish the Morph evil gone from my brother, Victor Devereux, so he will feel at peace and become what is closest to his heart and to end his torment of being a half-breed.”
Suddenly an ugly, foul cloud arose from the center of his brother’s chest. Avril gasped as the cloud rose into the air, and then evaporated.
A scream tore from Victor’s throat. It turned into a howl. In place of Victor was a large gray wolf.
“Go, my brother. Find your peace,” Indigo murmured.
The wolf regarded Avril with sad, yellow eyes, then loped toward the railroad tracks. They watched as he followed the tracks and disappeared from sight.
In his hands, the Anastasia charm glowed blue. Indigo glanced at his lover. “If I had one more wish, it would be for you, chère. I’d wish for you, with all my heart, nothing but happiness, love and peace, wherever you will find it, with whomever could provide it.”
Tears shimmered in Avril’s large violet eyes. “You’d do that for me?”
He unfurled her fingers and gently placed the charm into her hand. “I love you, Avril. I want you to be happy. I’m not Victor, wishing to force you into a life you never wanted.”
“I can be happy if you return with me,” she cried out.
“Can you? I once tried to straddle both worlds, vampire and Draicon. I can’t anymore, chère. I’m Changling, not vampire.” Gently he brushed a tear sliding down her cheek. “You said you could only live in your world.”
She squeezed the amulet. “I have to go. Father needs this. Thank you for setting Victor free. I think he’s at peace, finally.”
Avril kissed him, the taste of her like salted honey. “I’ll love you forever.”
A faint shimmering filled the air as she dematerialized. For a long while he sat on the Moon Walk, the ache in his chest like a steel stake buried there.
Avril would be happy.
He wrapped his arms around himself, rocking back and forth to ease the haunting grief swelling his chest.
***
In the week since she’d left Indigo, Avril felt like her soul had faded to nothingness.
No longer shunned, she was now the clan’s heroine. Those who once refused to look at her thanked her for protecting their precious charm.
Avril had told them that Victor had been Changling, and Indigo used the charm to set free his brother. The clan shrugged it off. They refused to give Indigo credit, while at the same time they excused the fact that her blood had been ritually “cleansed” for 100 years by Victor, member of the very same race.
It made no sense.
Now sitting on her bed, she palmed the Anastasia charm. Xavier had given it to her to make one wish. The charm’s blue glow spilled over the champagne-colored gown hanging on the door. Tonight her family held a ball in her honor.
No beer and crayfish for these vampires. Strictly black tie all the way. Avril glanced at her ordinary jeans and plain T-shirt. No, she didn’t fit in anymore, it seemed.
She couldn’t imagine leaving her life. But was this a life when every waking moment was empty?
If she chose to be with Indigo, the clan would banish her. Unlike Indigo, she was vampire and could live as nothing else. Yet without him, this life felt stale.
She stared at the stone. Indigo’s words came back to her. You always follow the rules, chère. For once, follow your heart.
It was about time to make a wish. She went to find her parents.
Her father protested, but understanding flickered in her mother’s eyes. “Do what you must, honey,” she said. “Follow your heart.”
Afterward, she returned to her room. She made a wish. The stone fell from her outstretched fingers as a tingling shot through her.
Seconds later, she stood inside a dimly lit bar.
A woman screamed. Avril ignored her. Her gaze centered on the tall, muscled male in the tight black T-shirt sitting alone at the counter. A beer sat before him. The taut edges of his profile were exposed to her. Lines of strains clearly showed.
Never had she seen Indigo more distressed.
A Draicon standing behind the counter glanced up. Gabriel’s handsome face creased into a broad smile. “Hey, it’s the pretty batgirl,” he called out.
She smiled back.
“I swear she wasn’t standing there a minute ago! I’m not drunk,” the woman shrieked.
“Yes, you are,” Gabriel asserted. He stroked his temple. The woman’s gaze went blank, then she resumed talking as if nothing happened.
As Avril approached, Gabriel gave Indigo a nudge. Shock dawned in her lover’s beautiful brown eyes.
“You can’t be real,” he murmured. “I wished you were here. But some wishes don’t come true.”
She took his troubled face into her hands. “Mine did.”
Indigo pulled her in between his opened thighs, cradling her tight against his body. His possessive kiss inflamed her with passion. He kept kissing her mouth, her cheeks, kissing away her tears. Indigo leaned his forehead against hers.
“You sure this is for you, Avril? A life with me and not your family?”
Never had she been more certain. “The Anastasia charm is never wrong. All I wished for was to be with my heart’s desire. It led me straight to you.”
The joy on his face, and the secure feeling of being in his arms, filled her completely. “I’m truly home now, and here I’ll stay.”
THE END
Seducing the Vampire-chapter 7
Another last 2 chapter of Seducing The Vampire...
Enjoy..
Cool air brushed over her wet cheeks as she crossed the brick courtyard. Avril didn’t bother wiping away the tears. They were a reminder of how she and Indigo could never be together—she the vampire and he the Changling, the half vampire, half werewolf.
She had to leave him, before either of them caved in to the impulse of trying to mesh their lives. Their worlds were simply too separate.
Or are you simply too afraid to stand up to your father and risk taking a chance?
The thought tormented her. The clan was all she’d known.
A short walk would clear her head. Then she’d return to Indigo. Maybe they could reach a compromise.
Even as she left the house, Avril knew there would be no compromise.
On the sidewalk, she gazed at the nearly full moon.
The streets were deserted. But an odd chill raced down her spine, the same kind she’d felt back at Indigo’s shop. A foul smell laced with a familiar scent filled her senses.
Out of the shadows, a figure stepped onto the sidewalk. She caught a glimpse of wispy hair, sallow skin, and smelled horrible decay.
“Where is the Changling?” it lisped.
Avril’s pulse raced. The Morph that attacked back at the shop. She turned to run inside and warn Indigo
Something tickled her bare toes. Her heart plummeted to her stomach as she glanced downward.
Spiders marched up her foot. Avril brushed them off, but they multiplied.
She ran back through the gates, slammed them shut as she beat off the spiders, but they delicately scampered up to her neck.
A steady stream poured beneath the door in a snakelike shape, joining those on her leg. Then the shape elongated and thickened around her calf.
It shifted into a python, wrapped around her neck, and its powerful muscles squeezed.
Air choked out of her. Avril screamed, struggling to free herself. Her vision went gray. She dematerialized, only to find the snake vanishing and reappearing as she did.
An outraged snarl sounded as Indigo burst onto the courtyard. In each hand was a steel dagger.
Immediately the python let go and dropped to the ground. It shifted into a snarling wolf.
Avril gulped down air, rubbed her bruised neck.
“You want me, bastard? Come get me,” Indigo taunted.
But the wolf multiplied. Now Indigo faced ten wolves circling him and snarling.
He couldn’t fight them all. But she could.
“Indigo, toss me the dagger and distract them,” she croaked out.
As the wolves closed in, he did so. Avril dematerialized and appeared in front of Indigo. The dagger in her palm sank home, straight into the wolf’s heart. Instantly, Indigo whirled and stabbed at the others. But each time they killed one, another took its place, until they were backed against the wall, facing six snarling wolves.
Her lover’s nostrils flared. He put her behind him, then shifted into a wolf and charged forward.
It was a suicide rush. Avril blinked in astonished shock.
Indigo the wolf had turned into a tornado with vampire speed. He took on all six, biting their flanks, dodging their teeth and then as each wolf weakened, going for the kill.
When he finished, the dead wolves lay on the brick, then turned into ash.
Adoration filled her as he shifted back and clothed himself. “I couldn’t have done that. No one in my clan could have, either. You’re Changling, Indigo, special. Better than Draicon or vampire.”
Doubt etched his expression as he stared at his hands.
Suddenly a leather-clad man strode into the courtyard, lifting his hands and chanting in a low voice. Raphael.
Pure white light bathed her in warmth. A tingle raced down her spine at the presence of enormous power. Good power.
Raphael gave them a brief smile. “You forgot to shield your place here, so I thought I’d do a little drive-by.”
“Thanks, man.” Indigo clapped a palm on the Draicon’s shoulder.
Avril breathed in the scent of enormous power. “Your magick is stronger than others, Raphael,” she mused. “How?”
“Rafe is the Draicon Kallan, an immortal who can… Well, you don’t mess with him.” Indigo turned to the werewolf. “Why are you here, mon frère? And don’t tell me it’s ’cause you had a hankering for crayfish and beer, ’cause I don’t have any.”
The Draicon fingered the gold sword earring in his left ear. “I was out patrolling, scented Morph and followed the trail here. You have a nasty case of someone wants your ass. There’s an odd vibe I haven’t felt since the day you came to us.”
“But the Morph attacked me first. Why would it? Indigo said they fear vampires,” she burst out.
“Don’t know. And there’s something very odd about this particular Morph.” Her lover scrubbed a hand over his taut jaw.
“You don’t exactly roll out the welcome mat, Indigo.” Raphael’s eyes narrowed. “This is more than the usual suspects. Morphs are always after us, but this one is hell-bent on targeting you.”
“These Morphs, they’re always trying to kill Draicon?” When Indigo nodded, she shook her head. “How can you live like that, knowing your enemies are always lurking in the shadows?”
Indigo jerked a thumb at Raphael. “I have new family now. They’re loyal and they respect me. It’s much better than living among a group of archaic, snobby vampires who cling to outdated rules.”
Emotions swept through her. “It’s my life, Indigo, please don’t mock it. It’s the only life I have.”
“Then maybe it’s time you left it.” His dark gaze glittered. Indigo held out a palm. “Come with me, chère. The outside world isn’t as terrible as your father said.”
“I don’t know if I can,” she whispered.
He tensed. “Because I’m Draicon? All you’ve been taught about us isn’t true. Haven’t you realized that by now?”
Avril slowly nodded. She studied Raphael the Draicon and Indigo the Changling. Marking the proud strength of her lover, his bulky muscles and strong hands that had caressed her with such care and could rip off a man’s head.
Something nagged at her. Pureblood vampires had a grace, stealth, and their blood tasted like…
“I need to find another vampire, right now. There’s something I have to check out,” she said urgently.
Raphael quirked an elegant eyebrow. “They’re not in the Yellow Pages.”
But Indigo, bless him, understood her urgency. “Aaron. He’s a friend.”
Avril went upstairs and fastened the Anastasia charm around her neck.
Minutes later, they arrived at a crowded bar where an enthusiastic band thumped out hard rock. Aaron, the owner, led them to a back room where Avril explained her need.
Last year, Indigo had saved the vampire during a vicious fight with demons. Aaron nodded. “For you, Indigo, I’ll do it.”
When Aaron extended his wrist to Avril, she bit him. Powerful, sweet blood flooded her mouth. Avril ceased feeding and licked the wound. Rage filled her.
“That bastard,” she breathed. “I know what’s going on now. I know where he is. His blood is inside me. This has to stop.”
“Avril, stay here,” Indigo ordered.
“I’m sorry, Indigo, for everything that happened to you,” she whispered.
Then she dematerialized.
Enjoy..
Cool air brushed over her wet cheeks as she crossed the brick courtyard. Avril didn’t bother wiping away the tears. They were a reminder of how she and Indigo could never be together—she the vampire and he the Changling, the half vampire, half werewolf.
She had to leave him, before either of them caved in to the impulse of trying to mesh their lives. Their worlds were simply too separate.
Or are you simply too afraid to stand up to your father and risk taking a chance?
The thought tormented her. The clan was all she’d known.
A short walk would clear her head. Then she’d return to Indigo. Maybe they could reach a compromise.
Even as she left the house, Avril knew there would be no compromise.
On the sidewalk, she gazed at the nearly full moon.
The streets were deserted. But an odd chill raced down her spine, the same kind she’d felt back at Indigo’s shop. A foul smell laced with a familiar scent filled her senses.
Out of the shadows, a figure stepped onto the sidewalk. She caught a glimpse of wispy hair, sallow skin, and smelled horrible decay.
“Where is the Changling?” it lisped.
Avril’s pulse raced. The Morph that attacked back at the shop. She turned to run inside and warn Indigo
Something tickled her bare toes. Her heart plummeted to her stomach as she glanced downward.
Spiders marched up her foot. Avril brushed them off, but they multiplied.
She ran back through the gates, slammed them shut as she beat off the spiders, but they delicately scampered up to her neck.
A steady stream poured beneath the door in a snakelike shape, joining those on her leg. Then the shape elongated and thickened around her calf.
It shifted into a python, wrapped around her neck, and its powerful muscles squeezed.
Air choked out of her. Avril screamed, struggling to free herself. Her vision went gray. She dematerialized, only to find the snake vanishing and reappearing as she did.
An outraged snarl sounded as Indigo burst onto the courtyard. In each hand was a steel dagger.
Immediately the python let go and dropped to the ground. It shifted into a snarling wolf.
Avril gulped down air, rubbed her bruised neck.
“You want me, bastard? Come get me,” Indigo taunted.
But the wolf multiplied. Now Indigo faced ten wolves circling him and snarling.
He couldn’t fight them all. But she could.
“Indigo, toss me the dagger and distract them,” she croaked out.
As the wolves closed in, he did so. Avril dematerialized and appeared in front of Indigo. The dagger in her palm sank home, straight into the wolf’s heart. Instantly, Indigo whirled and stabbed at the others. But each time they killed one, another took its place, until they were backed against the wall, facing six snarling wolves.
Her lover’s nostrils flared. He put her behind him, then shifted into a wolf and charged forward.
It was a suicide rush. Avril blinked in astonished shock.
Indigo the wolf had turned into a tornado with vampire speed. He took on all six, biting their flanks, dodging their teeth and then as each wolf weakened, going for the kill.
When he finished, the dead wolves lay on the brick, then turned into ash.
Adoration filled her as he shifted back and clothed himself. “I couldn’t have done that. No one in my clan could have, either. You’re Changling, Indigo, special. Better than Draicon or vampire.”
Doubt etched his expression as he stared at his hands.
Suddenly a leather-clad man strode into the courtyard, lifting his hands and chanting in a low voice. Raphael.
Pure white light bathed her in warmth. A tingle raced down her spine at the presence of enormous power. Good power.
Raphael gave them a brief smile. “You forgot to shield your place here, so I thought I’d do a little drive-by.”
“Thanks, man.” Indigo clapped a palm on the Draicon’s shoulder.
Avril breathed in the scent of enormous power. “Your magick is stronger than others, Raphael,” she mused. “How?”
“Rafe is the Draicon Kallan, an immortal who can… Well, you don’t mess with him.” Indigo turned to the werewolf. “Why are you here, mon frère? And don’t tell me it’s ’cause you had a hankering for crayfish and beer, ’cause I don’t have any.”
The Draicon fingered the gold sword earring in his left ear. “I was out patrolling, scented Morph and followed the trail here. You have a nasty case of someone wants your ass. There’s an odd vibe I haven’t felt since the day you came to us.”
“But the Morph attacked me first. Why would it? Indigo said they fear vampires,” she burst out.
“Don’t know. And there’s something very odd about this particular Morph.” Her lover scrubbed a hand over his taut jaw.
“You don’t exactly roll out the welcome mat, Indigo.” Raphael’s eyes narrowed. “This is more than the usual suspects. Morphs are always after us, but this one is hell-bent on targeting you.”
“These Morphs, they’re always trying to kill Draicon?” When Indigo nodded, she shook her head. “How can you live like that, knowing your enemies are always lurking in the shadows?”
Indigo jerked a thumb at Raphael. “I have new family now. They’re loyal and they respect me. It’s much better than living among a group of archaic, snobby vampires who cling to outdated rules.”
Emotions swept through her. “It’s my life, Indigo, please don’t mock it. It’s the only life I have.”
“Then maybe it’s time you left it.” His dark gaze glittered. Indigo held out a palm. “Come with me, chère. The outside world isn’t as terrible as your father said.”
“I don’t know if I can,” she whispered.
He tensed. “Because I’m Draicon? All you’ve been taught about us isn’t true. Haven’t you realized that by now?”
Avril slowly nodded. She studied Raphael the Draicon and Indigo the Changling. Marking the proud strength of her lover, his bulky muscles and strong hands that had caressed her with such care and could rip off a man’s head.
Something nagged at her. Pureblood vampires had a grace, stealth, and their blood tasted like…
“I need to find another vampire, right now. There’s something I have to check out,” she said urgently.
Raphael quirked an elegant eyebrow. “They’re not in the Yellow Pages.”
But Indigo, bless him, understood her urgency. “Aaron. He’s a friend.”
Avril went upstairs and fastened the Anastasia charm around her neck.
Minutes later, they arrived at a crowded bar where an enthusiastic band thumped out hard rock. Aaron, the owner, led them to a back room where Avril explained her need.
Last year, Indigo had saved the vampire during a vicious fight with demons. Aaron nodded. “For you, Indigo, I’ll do it.”
When Aaron extended his wrist to Avril, she bit him. Powerful, sweet blood flooded her mouth. Avril ceased feeding and licked the wound. Rage filled her.
“That bastard,” she breathed. “I know what’s going on now. I know where he is. His blood is inside me. This has to stop.”
“Avril, stay here,” Indigo ordered.
“I’m sorry, Indigo, for everything that happened to you,” she whispered.
Then she dematerialized.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Comfort Zone....
Here is a poem I'd like to share with you today. I love reading it. A friend forwarded it to me some time back. The words are very powerful! Here it is!
I use to have a Comfort Zone
Where I knew I couldn't fail
The same four walls of busy work
Were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things
I'd never done before,
But I stayed inside my Comfort Zone
And paced the same old floor
I said it didn't matter,
That I wasn't doing much
I said I didn't care for things
Like diamonds, furs and such
I claimed to be so busy
With the things inside my zone,
But ddep inside I longed for
Something special of my own.
I couldn't let my life go by,
Just watching others win.
I held my breath and stepped outside
And let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength
I'd never felt before,
I kissed my Comfort Zone "goodbye"
And closed and locked the door.
If you are in a Comfort Zone,
Afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were
At one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise,
Can make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile,
Success is there for you!
So my dearest friends, get out of your comfort zone and do the things you've always wanted to do in your life! You will have a happier, more successful and fulfilled life!:))
taken from Happiness Is Your Birthright
I use to have a Comfort Zone
Where I knew I couldn't fail
The same four walls of busy work
Were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things
I'd never done before,
But I stayed inside my Comfort Zone
And paced the same old floor
I said it didn't matter,
That I wasn't doing much
I said I didn't care for things
Like diamonds, furs and such
I claimed to be so busy
With the things inside my zone,
But ddep inside I longed for
Something special of my own.
I couldn't let my life go by,
Just watching others win.
I held my breath and stepped outside
And let the change begin.
I took a step and with new strength
I'd never felt before,
I kissed my Comfort Zone "goodbye"
And closed and locked the door.
If you are in a Comfort Zone,
Afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners were
At one time filled with doubt.
A step or two and words of praise,
Can make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile,
Success is there for you!
So my dearest friends, get out of your comfort zone and do the things you've always wanted to do in your life! You will have a happier, more successful and fulfilled life!:))
taken from Happiness Is Your Birthright
Make TODAY is the best day of your life
Hope you are all doing fantastic! :))
Here is something that my friend Jenny me today and that I would like to share with you!
Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday
And today was such a lovely day,
that I wondered why I worried about today yesterday
So today I am not going to worry about tomorrow
There may not be a tomorrow anyway
So today I am going to live as if there is no tomorrow
And I am going to forget about yesterday.
Today is the tomorrow I planned for yesterday
And nearly all my plans for today did not plan out the way I thought they would yesterday
So today I am forgetting about tomorrow and I will plan for today
But not too strenuously
Today I will stop to smell a rose
I will tell a loved one how much I love her
I will stop planning for tomorrow and plan to make today the best day of my life.
Today is the tomorrow I was afraid of yesterday
And today was nothing to be afraid of
So today I will banish fear of the unknown
I will embrace the unknown as a learning experience full of exciting opportunities
Today, unlike yesterday I will not fear tomorrow.
Today is the tomorrow I dreamed about yesterday
And some of the dreams I dreamt about yesterday came true today
So today I am going to continue dreaming about tomorrow
And perhaps more of the dreams I dream today will come true tomorrow.
Today is the tomorrow I set goals for yesterday
And I reached some of those goals today
So today I am going to set slightly higher goals for today and tomorrow
And if tomorrow turns out to be like today
I will certainly reach all of my goals one day!
So dearest friends, forget about all your worries, fears, doubts and make TODAY the BEST DAY of your life!!:))
taken from Happiness Is Your Birthright
Here is something that my friend Jenny me today and that I would like to share with you!
Today is the tomorrow I worried about yesterday
And today was such a lovely day,
that I wondered why I worried about today yesterday
So today I am not going to worry about tomorrow
There may not be a tomorrow anyway
So today I am going to live as if there is no tomorrow
And I am going to forget about yesterday.
Today is the tomorrow I planned for yesterday
And nearly all my plans for today did not plan out the way I thought they would yesterday
So today I am forgetting about tomorrow and I will plan for today
But not too strenuously
Today I will stop to smell a rose
I will tell a loved one how much I love her
I will stop planning for tomorrow and plan to make today the best day of my life.
Today is the tomorrow I was afraid of yesterday
And today was nothing to be afraid of
So today I will banish fear of the unknown
I will embrace the unknown as a learning experience full of exciting opportunities
Today, unlike yesterday I will not fear tomorrow.
Today is the tomorrow I dreamed about yesterday
And some of the dreams I dreamt about yesterday came true today
So today I am going to continue dreaming about tomorrow
And perhaps more of the dreams I dream today will come true tomorrow.
Today is the tomorrow I set goals for yesterday
And I reached some of those goals today
So today I am going to set slightly higher goals for today and tomorrow
And if tomorrow turns out to be like today
I will certainly reach all of my goals one day!
So dearest friends, forget about all your worries, fears, doubts and make TODAY the BEST DAY of your life!!:))
taken from Happiness Is Your Birthright
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
SeaSon Of LoVe
I brought this religion book for my friend is called Celebrating The Tender Moments of Life - Season Of Love.
In this book....is have brought both joy and encourgement to my life, and is covers the many complexions of love with grace,insight and tenderness, with issues such as rekindling romance in marriage, forgiving someone who has hurt you, finding and being a true friend, extending God's life- changing love to someone who seems unloveable and loving yourself.
All these inspiring stories of devotion and faith will inspire you-to better recognize, accept and cherish the season of love in which ou find yourself today.
Most of all, it will help you to experience, in a new way the strength and joy of knowing just how much god truly loves you.
I have a story that i like to share with all of you and is taken from this book is called The Richest Man In The World. Is a true love story...romantic love story...hehehe!!!!
The man who finds a wife finds a good things.she is a blessing to him form the Lord. Proverbs 18.22 TLB
“Hey, Teresa! When are we going out?” the athletic senior quipped, as he passed the pretty blond student in the school office.
The question was not an actual request, nor did John expect a response. Yet somehow it had become a game,a challenge. It first started in a conversation with the guys.
“Teresa and I had only talked a couple of times at school, but she had always been kind toward me,”John recalls. “So when I heard some of my buddies referring to her in the form of a conquest, I felt compelled to defend her.”
“Ain’t nobody getting’ no action with her,”one stated.
I really hated that kind of talk, especially since Teresa was a Christian. I wanted to change the subject. “Obviously none of you hound dogs is the right person,” I replied.
“So, you think you culd get her to kiss you on the first date?” they challenged.
Something about the conversation lodged in John’s mind, creating an unconscious shift in his previously casual relationship with Teresa.
As a senior in high school, John had already excelled in many areas. He was president of the French club, the history club, and the honor society. He also excelled with girls and had developed a reputation as a ladies’ man, but in reality he felt very alone.
“My home life was less than perfect.”John recalls. “I had seven brothers and sisters as my family became mixed in Brady Bunch fashion. Only ours was not always a happy family.”
What John longed for was a stable, loving relationship.
Prior to that conversation with the guys, John had never seriously considered dating Teresa. She was one of the “good” girls: and well, that just wasn’t hiiis type. Still, he jokingly commented about a date each time he saw her.
His position as president of the honor society required frequent interaction with the school counselor. As a senior, Teresa sometimes worked in the office, so their paths crossed frequently.
Entering the counselor’s office one afternoon in a thinly veiled guise to skip English class, John passed Teresa. As if on cue, he rattled off the now familiar line, “Hey, when are we going out?” Smiling to himself, he walked in to see the counselor.
A couple of minutes later, as Teresa walked past the office, she slowly retraced her steps. Popping her head in, she actually responded to John’s question for the first time.
“Well, whenever you ask,” she smiled before walking on again.
“I was dumbfounded, ”John said. “The situation had turned serious in an instant. What had been my ongoing joke had suddenly turned into a joke on me. And while I had not always done the right things in my relationships with girls, I had a sense of honor when it came to Teresa and wanted to treat her right.”
Excusing himself from the counselor, John walked out to find Teresa, fully intending to set the record straight and apologize. The next thing he heard coming out of his mouth shocked Teresa as well as him. “Hey, Teresa. I’m asking,” he stated.
There was a long pause, but as John’s mind raced with the thought of what he had just said, he realized he didn’t want to take the words back. Two weeks later, they had their first official date.
“Although I wasn’t of legal age, I ordered a drink, hoping to impress her: but the things that impressed other girls didn’t impress Teresa, “John shares about that evening.
“I would prefer that you not drink,” she commented calmly after we left the restaurant. There was something so compelling about the way she had made her feelings known, that I never took another drink again, “John confides.
“Much to my surprise, I did get a kiss on our first date. My mind immediately recalled the conversation with the guys, “You think you’re the right guy?” That kiss hooked me into staying with the relationship as I contemplated for the first time the possibility that this girl just might be the one for me. The more I considered the relationship, I was finally able to admit to myself that I was slowly falling in love with her.”
Although John’s heart toward Teresa was changing, his attitude toward God was not, even though their dates typically centered around prayer meetings and revival services. John went with Teresa only because he wanted to be with her. She continued dating him only because she felt he would change. But there was no indication that the services they attended were having any impact whatsoever on his life.
“At one such service, I remembered very little except to admire the gift of delivery from the fiery evangelist. Afterwards as we made our way out of the church, I shook his hand and expressed my appreciation for his oratory skill, even though I hadn’t understood his message. ‘That was a great speech, ’I complimented.
“The preacher pulled back his hand as if I had slapped his face, “John laughs in remembrance. “Sir, you need to pray for yourself, ‘he directed.”
Still in spiritual darkness, John couldn’t understand what had offended the evangelist. But although it couldn’t be seen on the surface, Teresa’s prayers and the words of the preachers were having an effect on him.
From that time on, the services John and Teresa attended became increasingly uncomfortable for John. No longer could he sit complacently in the back. Now each time he entered a church, the words of the evangelist came flooding back into his mind, Sir, you need to pray for yourself.
“I realized I didn’t even know how to pray for myself and whispered aloud, “God, if You’re real, show me.”
And He did.
John found over the next few weeks that his prayer in those services had changed. It was no longer, “God, if You’re real, show me,” but now became, “God, I know You’re real. What do I need to do?”
Finally, at the close of yet another services, John listened as the workship leader kept singing the old song, “Just as I Am.” About the eighth time of singing the chorus, he finally slammed the hymnal shut in surrender, “Lord, save me, “he whispered.
“I knew even before I left my seat to walk forward that I had been changed. I was different…. And I knew I was called to preach. And about three weeks later, I knew I was to marry Teresa. But I didn’t dare tell her that- not yet.”
At the end of the summer, Teresa left for college in another state, while John remained in North Carolina to attend the community college. They knew the period of separation would be difficult, but it became increasingly challenging when Teresa met a young man on her school campus. Although unwilling to admit it, Teresa was strongly attracted to her classmate’s spiritual depth, something John didn’t yet possess. Over the next several weeks, it became increasingly clear to John via their letters and phone conversations that the girl he loved was slipping away.
But what Teresa couldn’t see was the John was maturing fast.
“In just the few weeks I had been a believer, I had already read a considerable portion of the Old and New Testaments. And although new in my commitment to Christ, I was already teaching a Sunday school class, testifying and giving mini-sermons, and became involved with the choir. I was so hungry for God that my faith and knowledge of Him were growing by leaps and bounds, “John states.
As the school year progressed, Teresa became increasingly more confused about the two men in her life. As the emotional turmoil intensified, she made the decision to leave school for a week to return home ostensibly to be with her family. In reality, she had gone home to make up her mind. Unfortunately, it seemed from the beginning for her visit that her decision had already been made.
“After her arrival, we arranged to meet at the Wednesday night church service. Her change in attitude toward me was immediately apparent as she greeted me briefly only to walk away to sit with her parents for the services, “John shares. “My heart felt constricted as I debated whether or not to walk out and away from the painful distance that separated us. But I couldn’t. I loved Teresa. I made the decision to stay, no matter the outcome.
“After the service Teresa almost reluctantly agreed to stay behind and talk. As the church emptied, we eventually decided to take a drive to continue our conversation. Although alone, there was no physical contact between us. We were just two friends getting reacquainted. I could only hope that Teresa could see the growth that had taken place in my life since she left.
“Finally, that weekend over dinner, I pressed Teresa for a decision. “Teresa, I need to know if I am just a friend or if there is something more between us.”
“Over the previous several days, Teresa was able to see for herself the metamorphosis that had taken place in my life. She didn’t hesitate in giving her answer – the one I had hoped for.”
John and Teresa became engaged later that year, setting a wedding date for the summer before their senior year of college, two years away. The next year John transferred schools to join Teresa, and their relationship continued to deepen.
“Those were the happiest times I had ever had. I loved her more that anyone I had ever loved in my life. She seemed to be everything I needed- loving, caring, compassionate, and most of all, forgiving of my past, “John continues his story.
After completing their junior year, Teresa returned home immediately to finalize plans for their July wedding. John stayed behind to continue working and, in his spare time, he kept studying the Bible. Everything seemed to be going perfectly.
After returning to North Carolina, Teresa got a job interning as a social worker- her major. The work was not strenuous, but Teresa seemed to have difficulty keeping up with the physical demands of the position. Her energy level decreased to the point that she finally went to the doctor. While the doctor confirmed that low energy lever, he had no explanation for the cause and ordered an array of tests.
Two weeks late, John got a call from Teresa’s mother. Emotion choked her voice as she finally communicated the message, “John, the doctor’s report came back to Teresa. She had just two years to live.”
Teresa had been diagnosed with cardio pulmonary hypertension, a disease that creates a higher that normal pressure in the lungs, ultimately causing the heart to enlarge on one side and become deformed. Teresa was growing weaker and weaker.
“The pain from her mother’ words pierced me like a sword. In my mind, Teresa was irreplaceable. She was the missing puzzle piece in my life, and for the first time I felt whole and valuable. I couldn’t believe the diagnosis, “John explains.
“Later, Teresa’s mom told me that she and her husband had met with my parents and that they all felt that it would be the right thing to call off the wedding. Logically I could see their point, “John admits. “But this wasn’t about logic. It was a matter of the heart. I told her that I wanted to talk to Teresa about it, that it needed to be her decision.
“Once Teresa come to the phone, I told her, “Your parents think we shouldn’t get married. I’m willing to call it off, if it is what you want. “Then, after a short pause, I asked, “What do you think?”
“I prayed silently as Teresa pondered the question.
“It would break my heart, “she said quietly.
“It would have broken mine too, “John confesses.
John and Teresa married in a simple ceremony two weeks later. By the time, Teresa had grown so weak physically that John had to help her stand as they exchanged their vows, but what she lacked in energy she made up for with the joy in their marriage.
Within days of their return to Tulsa, in preparation for their final year at the university, John realized that Teresa would be unable to continue. Her condition had deteriorated so rapidly that he couldn’t take care of her by himself, so he made plans to return to their family and friends back home.
In preparation for the trip, John checked Teresa into the hospital. She had been unable to eat and needed nutrients through IVs to strengthen her frail body. But Teresa never left the hospital. They had been married only fifty days.
“Even in the pain of Teresa’s death, my parents and I experienced new life. “John explains. “Little did I know, my parents had been watching me during the trying days immediately after Teresa’s death. The witness of the strength that was not my own, that carried me through the grief of my loss, conveyed more that words ever could have. They gave their lives to Christ within a week of each other.
Not long after, at only twenty-one years of age, John returned to Oklahoma to restart a life that had no one in it anymore. Months passed before he could even contemplate the mere thought of ever allowing another woman into his life. But as his heart began to heal, God began to prepare him for a new season.
Around this time, John and his roommate went out for dinner one night. Their waitress was a pretty blonde Bible- school student with a bubbly personality. Something about this stranger sparked John’s interest. As they prepared to depart, he left her a note on the table, “It’s nice to meet you. I’d like to get to know you better.”
Two weeks later, he returned to the restaurant and asked her out. Although they dated for a the next couple of months, by then it seemed obvious, at least to John, that their lives were heading in different directions. Lori was just eighteen at the time and after the road John had walked, she seemed incredibly young to him. He knew it was time to go their separate ways before it became too painful.
“In all honesty, Lori faced an insurmountable barrier with the memory of my former wife, whom I had elevated to the level of sainthood, “John admits. “No one would have been able to live up to the standard I had unconsciously set.”
The bottom line was, John wasn’t ready for a new relationship yet. God still had some work to do in him before he could really let go of his past. And without letting go to the past, he couldn’t fully embrace the future God had for him.
After their breakup, Lori returned to her family in Arizona, and John resumed the task of rebuilding his life- comfortable, he thought, with his decision. That is until he ran into her later that summer at a swimming pool. The moment he saw her, he realized how much he had missed her. Although Lori had returned to Tulsa for only a brief visit, they began dating again. It wasn’t long before John recognized the awakening of deeper feelings.
Never one to waste time on futile efforts, John suddenly needed to know if God’s plan was for him to marry again. Although his mind was having to catch up to his spirit, deep inside, he knew marriage was His will.
Now John just needed to know if Lori was the woman God had chosen for him. “On a whim I invited Lori to go with me to Dallas where my parents had moved. Although I was fairly certain that she was the one for me, I needed to know for sure. The entire trip, I listened intently for God’s voice and scrutinized Lori’s actions as well as my feelings. In a way this was unfair to Lori, but I knew the stakes were too high for either of us to make a mistake. Unless this was God’s will, the relationship would be doomed to failure.”
As the day wore on, John began to waver in his thinking as various emotions washed over him. Later that night after Lori had gone to bed in the guest room, he sat in the kitchen with his mom.
“She’s not Teresa, “ he began.
John’s mother provided a listening ear as John talked through the turmoil in his heart. Finally, he headed to bed, having convinced himself that there was no future in the relationship.
But during the night John had three separate dreams that were interrelated. At the beginning, a single apple tree grew in the middle of a luscious green field. It was a mature tree, full of beautiful white blossoms that swayed in the gentle breeze. A warm feeling came over him as he stared at the tree.
In the second dream, the tree was budding with small green fruit all over its branches. Finally, close to morning time, he had a third dream, only this time the tree was covered with fruit that was mature and ripe. The branches were so heavy laden that they almost touched the ground.
“After each dream I heard the words. Would you chop down this tree?
“Never, Lord,” I replied with conviction. “Your Word says that every tree is known by its fruit. This tree has good fruit.”
Instantly John awoke with the understanding that the “tree” represented Lori.
“God knew that I had begun to waver from the peach He had put in my heart. He knew I had been on the verge of making the biggest mistake of my life, and in His mercy, He intervened in a profound way. I got up immediately and knocked on the door to Lori’s room, now certain of the next step in God’s plan for my life.
“Will you marry me?” I asked.
“Thankfully, she accepted, and I’ve never looked back.”
Today a wooden apple sits on John’s dresser as a reminder of that prophetic dream that altered the course myof their lives. Lori and John have been married twenty-three years now, they have eight children and work together full time in children’s ministry.
“Lori makes me better that I could have even been by myself,” says John. “People that observe us say that we are like two halves of a circle, each completing the other.
“Yes, Teresa was, at the time, a love greater that anything I had ever experienced, and I will forever honor her memory. But as is always the case with God, he took a tragedy and turned it into the biggest miracle of my life when He gave Lori too me. She is exactly what I need, handpicked by God; and the love we share is deeper that I even knew was possible. Because of her and our precious children, I am the richest man in the world.”
Heavenly Father, just as only You can make a flower grow in the middle of the desert, only without hope. There are always brighter day ahead in You. Amen.
In this book....is have brought both joy and encourgement to my life, and is covers the many complexions of love with grace,insight and tenderness, with issues such as rekindling romance in marriage, forgiving someone who has hurt you, finding and being a true friend, extending God's life- changing love to someone who seems unloveable and loving yourself.
All these inspiring stories of devotion and faith will inspire you-to better recognize, accept and cherish the season of love in which ou find yourself today.
Most of all, it will help you to experience, in a new way the strength and joy of knowing just how much god truly loves you.
I have a story that i like to share with all of you and is taken from this book is called The Richest Man In The World. Is a true love story...romantic love story...hehehe!!!!
The man who finds a wife finds a good things.she is a blessing to him form the Lord. Proverbs 18.22 TLB
“Hey, Teresa! When are we going out?” the athletic senior quipped, as he passed the pretty blond student in the school office.
The question was not an actual request, nor did John expect a response. Yet somehow it had become a game,a challenge. It first started in a conversation with the guys.
“Teresa and I had only talked a couple of times at school, but she had always been kind toward me,”John recalls. “So when I heard some of my buddies referring to her in the form of a conquest, I felt compelled to defend her.”
“Ain’t nobody getting’ no action with her,”one stated.
I really hated that kind of talk, especially since Teresa was a Christian. I wanted to change the subject. “Obviously none of you hound dogs is the right person,” I replied.
“So, you think you culd get her to kiss you on the first date?” they challenged.
Something about the conversation lodged in John’s mind, creating an unconscious shift in his previously casual relationship with Teresa.
As a senior in high school, John had already excelled in many areas. He was president of the French club, the history club, and the honor society. He also excelled with girls and had developed a reputation as a ladies’ man, but in reality he felt very alone.
“My home life was less than perfect.”John recalls. “I had seven brothers and sisters as my family became mixed in Brady Bunch fashion. Only ours was not always a happy family.”
What John longed for was a stable, loving relationship.
Prior to that conversation with the guys, John had never seriously considered dating Teresa. She was one of the “good” girls: and well, that just wasn’t hiiis type. Still, he jokingly commented about a date each time he saw her.
His position as president of the honor society required frequent interaction with the school counselor. As a senior, Teresa sometimes worked in the office, so their paths crossed frequently.
Entering the counselor’s office one afternoon in a thinly veiled guise to skip English class, John passed Teresa. As if on cue, he rattled off the now familiar line, “Hey, when are we going out?” Smiling to himself, he walked in to see the counselor.
A couple of minutes later, as Teresa walked past the office, she slowly retraced her steps. Popping her head in, she actually responded to John’s question for the first time.
“Well, whenever you ask,” she smiled before walking on again.
“I was dumbfounded, ”John said. “The situation had turned serious in an instant. What had been my ongoing joke had suddenly turned into a joke on me. And while I had not always done the right things in my relationships with girls, I had a sense of honor when it came to Teresa and wanted to treat her right.”
Excusing himself from the counselor, John walked out to find Teresa, fully intending to set the record straight and apologize. The next thing he heard coming out of his mouth shocked Teresa as well as him. “Hey, Teresa. I’m asking,” he stated.
There was a long pause, but as John’s mind raced with the thought of what he had just said, he realized he didn’t want to take the words back. Two weeks later, they had their first official date.
“Although I wasn’t of legal age, I ordered a drink, hoping to impress her: but the things that impressed other girls didn’t impress Teresa, “John shares about that evening.
“I would prefer that you not drink,” she commented calmly after we left the restaurant. There was something so compelling about the way she had made her feelings known, that I never took another drink again, “John confides.
“Much to my surprise, I did get a kiss on our first date. My mind immediately recalled the conversation with the guys, “You think you’re the right guy?” That kiss hooked me into staying with the relationship as I contemplated for the first time the possibility that this girl just might be the one for me. The more I considered the relationship, I was finally able to admit to myself that I was slowly falling in love with her.”
Although John’s heart toward Teresa was changing, his attitude toward God was not, even though their dates typically centered around prayer meetings and revival services. John went with Teresa only because he wanted to be with her. She continued dating him only because she felt he would change. But there was no indication that the services they attended were having any impact whatsoever on his life.
“At one such service, I remembered very little except to admire the gift of delivery from the fiery evangelist. Afterwards as we made our way out of the church, I shook his hand and expressed my appreciation for his oratory skill, even though I hadn’t understood his message. ‘That was a great speech, ’I complimented.
“The preacher pulled back his hand as if I had slapped his face, “John laughs in remembrance. “Sir, you need to pray for yourself, ‘he directed.”
Still in spiritual darkness, John couldn’t understand what had offended the evangelist. But although it couldn’t be seen on the surface, Teresa’s prayers and the words of the preachers were having an effect on him.
From that time on, the services John and Teresa attended became increasingly uncomfortable for John. No longer could he sit complacently in the back. Now each time he entered a church, the words of the evangelist came flooding back into his mind, Sir, you need to pray for yourself.
“I realized I didn’t even know how to pray for myself and whispered aloud, “God, if You’re real, show me.”
And He did.
John found over the next few weeks that his prayer in those services had changed. It was no longer, “God, if You’re real, show me,” but now became, “God, I know You’re real. What do I need to do?”
Finally, at the close of yet another services, John listened as the workship leader kept singing the old song, “Just as I Am.” About the eighth time of singing the chorus, he finally slammed the hymnal shut in surrender, “Lord, save me, “he whispered.
“I knew even before I left my seat to walk forward that I had been changed. I was different…. And I knew I was called to preach. And about three weeks later, I knew I was to marry Teresa. But I didn’t dare tell her that- not yet.”
At the end of the summer, Teresa left for college in another state, while John remained in North Carolina to attend the community college. They knew the period of separation would be difficult, but it became increasingly challenging when Teresa met a young man on her school campus. Although unwilling to admit it, Teresa was strongly attracted to her classmate’s spiritual depth, something John didn’t yet possess. Over the next several weeks, it became increasingly clear to John via their letters and phone conversations that the girl he loved was slipping away.
But what Teresa couldn’t see was the John was maturing fast.
“In just the few weeks I had been a believer, I had already read a considerable portion of the Old and New Testaments. And although new in my commitment to Christ, I was already teaching a Sunday school class, testifying and giving mini-sermons, and became involved with the choir. I was so hungry for God that my faith and knowledge of Him were growing by leaps and bounds, “John states.
As the school year progressed, Teresa became increasingly more confused about the two men in her life. As the emotional turmoil intensified, she made the decision to leave school for a week to return home ostensibly to be with her family. In reality, she had gone home to make up her mind. Unfortunately, it seemed from the beginning for her visit that her decision had already been made.
“After her arrival, we arranged to meet at the Wednesday night church service. Her change in attitude toward me was immediately apparent as she greeted me briefly only to walk away to sit with her parents for the services, “John shares. “My heart felt constricted as I debated whether or not to walk out and away from the painful distance that separated us. But I couldn’t. I loved Teresa. I made the decision to stay, no matter the outcome.
“After the service Teresa almost reluctantly agreed to stay behind and talk. As the church emptied, we eventually decided to take a drive to continue our conversation. Although alone, there was no physical contact between us. We were just two friends getting reacquainted. I could only hope that Teresa could see the growth that had taken place in my life since she left.
“Finally, that weekend over dinner, I pressed Teresa for a decision. “Teresa, I need to know if I am just a friend or if there is something more between us.”
“Over the previous several days, Teresa was able to see for herself the metamorphosis that had taken place in my life. She didn’t hesitate in giving her answer – the one I had hoped for.”
John and Teresa became engaged later that year, setting a wedding date for the summer before their senior year of college, two years away. The next year John transferred schools to join Teresa, and their relationship continued to deepen.
“Those were the happiest times I had ever had. I loved her more that anyone I had ever loved in my life. She seemed to be everything I needed- loving, caring, compassionate, and most of all, forgiving of my past, “John continues his story.
After completing their junior year, Teresa returned home immediately to finalize plans for their July wedding. John stayed behind to continue working and, in his spare time, he kept studying the Bible. Everything seemed to be going perfectly.
After returning to North Carolina, Teresa got a job interning as a social worker- her major. The work was not strenuous, but Teresa seemed to have difficulty keeping up with the physical demands of the position. Her energy level decreased to the point that she finally went to the doctor. While the doctor confirmed that low energy lever, he had no explanation for the cause and ordered an array of tests.
Two weeks late, John got a call from Teresa’s mother. Emotion choked her voice as she finally communicated the message, “John, the doctor’s report came back to Teresa. She had just two years to live.”
Teresa had been diagnosed with cardio pulmonary hypertension, a disease that creates a higher that normal pressure in the lungs, ultimately causing the heart to enlarge on one side and become deformed. Teresa was growing weaker and weaker.
“The pain from her mother’ words pierced me like a sword. In my mind, Teresa was irreplaceable. She was the missing puzzle piece in my life, and for the first time I felt whole and valuable. I couldn’t believe the diagnosis, “John explains.
“Later, Teresa’s mom told me that she and her husband had met with my parents and that they all felt that it would be the right thing to call off the wedding. Logically I could see their point, “John admits. “But this wasn’t about logic. It was a matter of the heart. I told her that I wanted to talk to Teresa about it, that it needed to be her decision.
“Once Teresa come to the phone, I told her, “Your parents think we shouldn’t get married. I’m willing to call it off, if it is what you want. “Then, after a short pause, I asked, “What do you think?”
“I prayed silently as Teresa pondered the question.
“It would break my heart, “she said quietly.
“It would have broken mine too, “John confesses.
John and Teresa married in a simple ceremony two weeks later. By the time, Teresa had grown so weak physically that John had to help her stand as they exchanged their vows, but what she lacked in energy she made up for with the joy in their marriage.
Within days of their return to Tulsa, in preparation for their final year at the university, John realized that Teresa would be unable to continue. Her condition had deteriorated so rapidly that he couldn’t take care of her by himself, so he made plans to return to their family and friends back home.
In preparation for the trip, John checked Teresa into the hospital. She had been unable to eat and needed nutrients through IVs to strengthen her frail body. But Teresa never left the hospital. They had been married only fifty days.
“Even in the pain of Teresa’s death, my parents and I experienced new life. “John explains. “Little did I know, my parents had been watching me during the trying days immediately after Teresa’s death. The witness of the strength that was not my own, that carried me through the grief of my loss, conveyed more that words ever could have. They gave their lives to Christ within a week of each other.
Not long after, at only twenty-one years of age, John returned to Oklahoma to restart a life that had no one in it anymore. Months passed before he could even contemplate the mere thought of ever allowing another woman into his life. But as his heart began to heal, God began to prepare him for a new season.
Around this time, John and his roommate went out for dinner one night. Their waitress was a pretty blonde Bible- school student with a bubbly personality. Something about this stranger sparked John’s interest. As they prepared to depart, he left her a note on the table, “It’s nice to meet you. I’d like to get to know you better.”
Two weeks later, he returned to the restaurant and asked her out. Although they dated for a the next couple of months, by then it seemed obvious, at least to John, that their lives were heading in different directions. Lori was just eighteen at the time and after the road John had walked, she seemed incredibly young to him. He knew it was time to go their separate ways before it became too painful.
“In all honesty, Lori faced an insurmountable barrier with the memory of my former wife, whom I had elevated to the level of sainthood, “John admits. “No one would have been able to live up to the standard I had unconsciously set.”
The bottom line was, John wasn’t ready for a new relationship yet. God still had some work to do in him before he could really let go of his past. And without letting go to the past, he couldn’t fully embrace the future God had for him.
After their breakup, Lori returned to her family in Arizona, and John resumed the task of rebuilding his life- comfortable, he thought, with his decision. That is until he ran into her later that summer at a swimming pool. The moment he saw her, he realized how much he had missed her. Although Lori had returned to Tulsa for only a brief visit, they began dating again. It wasn’t long before John recognized the awakening of deeper feelings.
Never one to waste time on futile efforts, John suddenly needed to know if God’s plan was for him to marry again. Although his mind was having to catch up to his spirit, deep inside, he knew marriage was His will.
Now John just needed to know if Lori was the woman God had chosen for him. “On a whim I invited Lori to go with me to Dallas where my parents had moved. Although I was fairly certain that she was the one for me, I needed to know for sure. The entire trip, I listened intently for God’s voice and scrutinized Lori’s actions as well as my feelings. In a way this was unfair to Lori, but I knew the stakes were too high for either of us to make a mistake. Unless this was God’s will, the relationship would be doomed to failure.”
As the day wore on, John began to waver in his thinking as various emotions washed over him. Later that night after Lori had gone to bed in the guest room, he sat in the kitchen with his mom.
“She’s not Teresa, “ he began.
John’s mother provided a listening ear as John talked through the turmoil in his heart. Finally, he headed to bed, having convinced himself that there was no future in the relationship.
But during the night John had three separate dreams that were interrelated. At the beginning, a single apple tree grew in the middle of a luscious green field. It was a mature tree, full of beautiful white blossoms that swayed in the gentle breeze. A warm feeling came over him as he stared at the tree.
In the second dream, the tree was budding with small green fruit all over its branches. Finally, close to morning time, he had a third dream, only this time the tree was covered with fruit that was mature and ripe. The branches were so heavy laden that they almost touched the ground.
“After each dream I heard the words. Would you chop down this tree?
“Never, Lord,” I replied with conviction. “Your Word says that every tree is known by its fruit. This tree has good fruit.”
Instantly John awoke with the understanding that the “tree” represented Lori.
“God knew that I had begun to waver from the peach He had put in my heart. He knew I had been on the verge of making the biggest mistake of my life, and in His mercy, He intervened in a profound way. I got up immediately and knocked on the door to Lori’s room, now certain of the next step in God’s plan for my life.
“Will you marry me?” I asked.
“Thankfully, she accepted, and I’ve never looked back.”
Today a wooden apple sits on John’s dresser as a reminder of that prophetic dream that altered the course myof their lives. Lori and John have been married twenty-three years now, they have eight children and work together full time in children’s ministry.
“Lori makes me better that I could have even been by myself,” says John. “People that observe us say that we are like two halves of a circle, each completing the other.
“Yes, Teresa was, at the time, a love greater that anything I had ever experienced, and I will forever honor her memory. But as is always the case with God, he took a tragedy and turned it into the biggest miracle of my life when He gave Lori too me. She is exactly what I need, handpicked by God; and the love we share is deeper that I even knew was possible. Because of her and our precious children, I am the richest man in the world.”
Heavenly Father, just as only You can make a flower grow in the middle of the desert, only without hope. There are always brighter day ahead in You. Amen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)