Jennifer eyed the miniature versions of Garrett and wanted to run far away. Equally, they eyed her as if she was the Grinch Who Stole Christmas.
Although his smile stayed in place, Garrett's glances toward her weren't much better.
Did he expect her to stuff them into an oven and gobble them up like the wicked witch in some fairy tale?
She'd never hurt his children, or any child for that matter.
Not on purpose.
"Can we have some dots, Daddy?" Ian asked, tugging on his father's hand.
"Puh-leeze," Ethan added, his big green eyes beseeching his father to agree.
Jennifer knew right then and there that if Garrett said no, she'd buy the boys ice cream. And anything else they wanted. How could she not when they were so like their father whom she found totally irresistible?
Garrett had children.
Her mind reeled. Garrett had twin sons.
No matter how much she loved him or that he claimed to love her, she couldn't be a mother again. Every hateful word Jeff had thrown at her following Carrie's death came crashing back, washing over her in waves of torturous memories.
No, she couldn't deceive Garrett, couldn't pretend they had any hope of a future. Her mother would be home tomorrow. In a couple of weeks Jennifer would be back in Madison.
In a few million years she'd forget Garrett. Maybe.
Oh, who was she kidding? She'd never forget him.
She loved him.
Loving him didn't mean she could be a mother to his children. Not that Garrett had specifically asked, but wasn't that the direction they were moving towards?
"Sure, you can have dots," Garrett agreed, ruffling the boys' dark hair. "Maybe Jennifer wants some space ice cream, too. Should we ask?"
The boys glanced from their father to Jennifer, looking at her expectantly, as if it were a given that she'd want space ice cream, Grinch or not.
"I've never had space ice cream," she admitted. "Do I get to pick flavors?"
"Its chocolate covered dots," Ian explained with a very grown-up expression. "Space ice cream is dots."
"I won't go shooting into outer space, will I?"
Shaking his head, Ethan giggled. "No, silly. Astro-nots eat them." His expression changed to uncertainty, as if he were considering the possibility. "Just in case, maybe you should hold my hand."
Before Jennifer could stop him, Ethan slipped his hand into hers.
***
"You're sure you don't need to go?" Garrett asked Ian for the third time.
The little boy shook his head, clasping on to Jennifer's hand. Since Ethan had broken the ice, the boys had clamored for her attention. "I'll wait with Jennifer."
Panic gurgled up Jennifer's throat. She didn't want to be left alone with the little boy.
What if something happened?
Garrett frowned, looking confused by her frantic head-shaking. "Ian, you should go."
"I don't have to go, Daddy."
"I do." Ethan wiggled back and forth, his legs squeezed together dramatically. "I can't hold it."
Garrett looked torn. In the end, Ethan's urgency won out. He rushed his son to the bathroom.
Oh God. Garrett had left her alone with his son. She had no business being responsible for a child. Her own daughter died because she wasn't a good mother.
"Are you my daddy's girlfriend?" Ian looked at Jennifer with eyes the exact shade of Garrett's, with the same thick black lashes.
"I'm your Dad's friend and I'm a girl," she hedged, not sure what she was to Garrett. He'd said he loved her. She wasn't over the fact that he'd not told her about the boys, but she could forgive him, could even understand. Sort of.
That didn't mean she could deal with this. The moment he told her she should have ended things. Why hadn't she? If she had she wouldn't be alone with a four-year-old.
"My daddy has lots of girlfriends."
Lots of girlfriends. Jennifer didn't say anything. Oblivious to how his words wrenched her heart, Ian went on. "Mommy said that's why Daddy didn't live with us anymore."
"Because he had lots of girlfriends?" Was it wrong to question a child about his father? It must be, with the amount of guilt filling her stomach.
Then again, didn't she already know she was the wrong person to be left alone with a child?
Ian nodded, his legs swinging back and forth. "My mommy is in heaven. 'Cause she's an angel." The little boy's gaze went to the rocket towering above them. "I bet that rocket ship could take us to see her."
Jennifer didn't know what to say. Her mind was racing in a thousand directions at the boy's revelation about Garrett's 'girlfriends'. Her heart was breaking at the loss in Ian's eyes. He'd loved his mother very much.
Despite her misgiving about being alone with him, she couldn't help herself. She hugged him to her. "I'm sorry about your mommy, Ian. I wish that rocket ship could take us to heaven."
"To see my mommy?"
"And to see Carrie," she whispered, feeling hot tears trail down her cheeks.
"Who's Carrie?"
"My little girl."
"She's in heaven with my Mommy?"
Eyes watering, Jennifer nodded.
Ian gave her a quizzical look, then patted her hand. "It's okay. I bet my Mommy is watching her the way you're watching me."
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